


Will you still remember me when I come back home?

by swordofstorm



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Astronomy Tower, BAMF Narcissa Black Malfoy, Black Family Ring, Canon Compliant, Dark Mark, Death Eaters, Established Relationship, Gosh Voldemort really screws everything up, Hermione is actually the best, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Memory Charms, Obliviation, Pansy is the best friend you'll wish you never had, Patronus, Ron and Hermione are already dating, Scars, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sectumsempra, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Until it isn't, Vernon Dursley Being an Asshole, magic watch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 08:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11642883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordofstorm/pseuds/swordofstorm
Summary: Despite growing up without the love they needed and being dragged into a war they wanted nothing to do with, Draco and Harry are able to find themselves in each other. They hope for the day when the war is finally over, when they can be open about their relationship without the fear of consequences. However, as Draco's reputation catches up to him, he finds himself left to clean up after his father's mess, and is forced to make a difficult decision to save the person who matters most to him. He can only hope that he'll survive long enough to see the end of this war and find his way back home to Harry.





	1. Hidden

Whispered giggling flitted down the dark hall. Ron and Hermione held hands as they walked, while Harry and Draco lingered close behind, arms around each other's waists. As they approached the stairs leading to the Gryffindor common room, Harry slowed his steps, bringing Draco to a pause with him.

"Go on ahead Hermione. I'll see you in the morning." Harry called quietly. Ron waggled his eyebrows at the other two boys, and was met with a light shove from Hermione.

"Alright," she replied, smiling. "Just don't stay out too late. And make sure Peeves doesn't catch you. Goodnight Draco."

"Goodnight." Draco said with a nod to each of them. Once he determined that the pair had actually left and not stuck around to eavesdrop, Draco circled both arms around his boyfriend and rested their foreheads together.

Harry looked up at him with a cheeky smile he reserved solely for the Slytherin boy. He watched as Draco inspected the bandages along his face, and leaned into the hand that came up to lightly brush against them. Harry saw a flash of guilt pass across Draco's face, but decided not to comment. He had already given up on trying to reason with him.

In their latest argument, Harry had tried to remind Draco that he was not his father. He wasn't at the Department of Mysteries the night Minister Fudge finally got proof of Voldemort's return. He wasn't there the night that Sirius was taken by the Veil. Yet Draco continued to fuss and worry about Harry, even a week after everything had begun to settle back down. He risked meeting with Harry more often between classes, and spent more time with him after dinner.

Harry looked into Draco's stormy grey eyes, and realized he couldn't _really_ complain.

During the year, it had become increasingly difficult for them to spend time together. Draco had been dragged into Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad by his fellow Slytherins, and had no choice but to go along. He had acted the part of Malfoy's arrogant son, and did everything he could to hinder the group from finding the Room of Requirement.

Harry winced, remembering Draco's look of distress when Umbridge could be delayed no longer and decided to blast into the room. Draco misinterpreted the pinched expression, and took his hand away from Harry's face.

"Sorry," Harry said suddenly, not wanting to let the other go for the night just yet. "I was just thinking about how bloody mental the year has been. Or rather how every year inevitably is." he added with a wry grin. Draco gave a hesitant smile in response.

"Well hopefully the next month will be uneventful so we can just get through it." Draco sighed and took Harry's hands into his own. "Are you sure I can't whisk you away somewhere for the summer holiday? Just think, we could go to my family's vacation home in France. Mother would be none the wiser, and you wouldn't have to see your awful cousin again." Draco's eyes shone with hope, and Harry found it difficult to shake his head.

"You know I promised Dumbledore that I'd stay with the Dursleys. It's the safest place for me right now, however _unfortunate_ that is. Something to do with my mom's protection spell. Besides, I think your mother _would_ in fact notice if her precious son were to disappear for a whole summer." He grinned at Draco and was rewarded with a grudging smile in return.

Draco hummed and brought Harry closer once again, and they tried to take up as much of the other as they could. Once it was morning, they'd have to go back to pretending they hated one another. They'd be able to sneak off for fifteen minutes after their shared Charms class and sit in their usual hidden spot, high up in the Astronomy Tower, which was generally abandoned until night classes started. Then once dinner was over they'd be able to roam the empty halls together, perhaps accompanied by Ron and Hermione. Otherwise, the most they could do was send subtle glances or brushes of the hand as they passed each other in the halls.

Harry squeezed around Draco's back tighter, taking in a deep breath. "Why can't we just be a normal couple?"

Draco snorted. "Well I'd have thought that'd be obvious. Your idea of romance was to wait until you were completely naked in the Prefects' bath to ask me out."

Harry, despite himself, blushed and chuckled, smacking whatever part of Draco's shoulder he could reach. Memories of their fourth year surfaced. Harry remembered clutching onto the Golden Egg and blurting out the question, after which he immediately spiraled into a panic. Draco had done the same, and they’d gotten into an argument over who had liked the other longest.

"You know what I mean, Draco."

Draco let out a long sigh. "I know." He nuzzled into Harry's neck briefly before untangling himself. Harry saw uncertainty on his face, and thought Draco would continue. However, he seemed to have decided against whatever it was he would've said, instead toying with his ring as the silence stretched.

"Draco, -" Harry was interrupted by a distant cat meowing. They both tensed up, realizing their time was up if they were to escape Mr. Filch. Draco leaned in to give Harry a sweet kiss against his bandaged cheek. Harry squeezed his hands one last time before Draco quickly snuck down a dark hall. Harry dashed up Gryffindor Tower just as he heard Mr. Filch run around the corner.

Harry slipped quietly into the common room to find it dark and empty, the only light coming through the windows from the moon. Upstairs in his dorm, he pulled back the covers to climb into bed, listening to the familiar snores of his housemates.

An uncomfortable feeling slid into him as he drew his curtains shut. Harry tucked his wand underneath his pillow and stared up at the ceiling, preparing himself for another predictably sleepless night. His thoughts turned, as they often did, to the risks of making his relationship with Draco publicly known.

Everyone knew that Lucius Malfoy was a Death Eater, and if they hadn't before, they certainly did after his arrest. So naturally everyone assumed that Draco would follow in his footsteps, putting him on opposing sides of a war with Harry. The only ones who knew otherwise were Ron, Hermione, and Sirius.

_Sirius._

Harry immediately sunk back down into hurt and anger at the thought of his godfather. Out of all the terrible things he'd been through, Sirius' death had most deeply affected him. Harry had hoped, had _allowed_ himself to believe that he could live with Sirius next year. He thought he'd get to know more about his father the skilled Quidditch player and his mother who was amazing at potions. He even imagined he'd be able to invite Draco to Christmas dinner, and that Sirius would finally meet his boyfriend.

Tears began to drip, leaving burning trails as they stuck to his cheeks. The moment he saw his godfather being drawn into the Veil devastated him, and he felt the loss like a physical sensation burning through his body. It was as though he'd never move past the pain. He often woke up at night crying, reliving the moment over and over again until he _begged_ his mind for peace.

When he wasn't kept up at night by the thought of his godfather, it was by fear and paranoia. He sometimes grew rigid in his bed, listening for any sound out of the ordinary that could signal a Death Eater waiting to strike. He imagined he could feel eyes on him and hear Parseltongue being whispered beyond the curtains of his bed. Sleep became elusive in times like these, only achievable when Harry was pushed past the point of exhaustion.

He turned over and wondered what his mind would bring him tonight. As he set his glasses on his bedside table, he tried to clutch to a single thought.

He wished Draco were there.


	2. Hidden

"Try it again." Harry called enthusiastically.

Draco just rolled his eyes, and moved back into a strong stance. He raised his wand high above his head. "Expecto Patronum." His confident voice filled the room commandingly, and Harry waited with eagerness for the spell to take form.

Nothing happened.

Draco groaned in frustration. "I thought I was supposed to be the smarter one." Harry laughed loudly at Draco's conflicting expression of irritation and mirth, as if he couldn't decide whether he was actually offended by the lack of Patronus or not. Late afternoon sunlight came in from the large windows of the Astronomy Tower, reaching across Draco as he tried to cast the charm.

"Here," Harry said gently as he came up behind Draco. "Try not to force it so much." he explained as he pressed his hands against the other's arms, raising them a bit as he stepped in close. "Happy thoughts." he muttered into his boyfriend's ear. Harry tried not to grin as he felt Draco's concentration waver.

Draco coughed awkwardly and tried to cast again, this time letting his magic gather and flow rather than push. With the incantation, silver mist appeared and began to merge into a swirling mass, lighting the room with its glow. Harry smiled and leaned in even closer, breathing in the wonderful scent that was inexplicably Draco. There was something intimate in standing so close to the other as he cast. When Harry focused, he could feel the pulse of Draco's magic. It was a thrilling sensation.

The silver mist continued to whirl through the room. "Good, that's better." Harry encouraged, as he began to press butterfly kisses above the neat collar of Draco's shirt. The spell faltered, dissipating and spiraling off center slightly. But Draco poured in more concentration and the spell centered itself again.

Harry let out a soft chuckle against Draco's neck, and pulled down his collar, starting to mouth at the smooth skin that was usually concealed. Draco gasped, and Harry was spurred on. He felt more than saw Draco make another attempt to complete the charm, before it exploded in a shower of light the moment Harry gently bit into his neck.

"Mmn. I believe you were supposed to be tutoring me, _Potter_." Draco chided, even as he drew Harry's arms around his torso. Harry nipped his neck again before turning the other around in his arms.

"Oh, is that so?" he mused with the air of someone innocent.

Draco snorted. "Imagine if I had attended the meetings for Dumbledore's Army. I'm sure eyes would pop out of skulls if they saw you draped over me like this."

"No, they'd much more likely scream and run once they saw the _big bad Malfoy_ being so compliant."

"Oh, I don't know about _that_. Hermione warmed up to me. And Ron came around, didn't he?"

Harry sent a sly grin up at Draco. "That was after the screaming."

The Slytherin boy scoffed indignantly. "I'll have you remember that I'm practically the reason those two finally started dating."

"It was _really_ more of a team effort, and you know it."

"Oh _really_ now?" Draco drawled as he drew his hand up to angle Harry's face towards him, leaning down to kiss the other. Harry kissed back eagerly, reveling in the sweet act of familiarity. He pulled his hands up to the back of Draco's neck, trying to get closer to him. Their kiss turned hot as Harry opened his mouth, tongue seeking the other's. Draco gently pushed him backwards, guiding him towards the nearest wall. Hands came up to slide along Harry's torso, made muscular by Quidditch. Draco hummed in appreciation. Harry brushed his hands across Draco's undercut, the short platinum hair tickling his fingers.

Harry remembered back to a year ago, how different they both were. There wasn't the simple comfort and gentle companionship that they now shared. They used to be hungry and passionate, as if they didn't know any other way to be.

While Harry loved all the intense emotions he could draw out of Draco, he liked the sense of balance that their relationship now brought to them. They understood each other in ways that no one else could ever hope to. They accepted each other and trusted each other, despite their shaky past and uncertain future. And Harry knew, without a doubt, that he could always rely on Draco.

He reluctantly pulled back to breathe, flushed and panting. "We should probably get going. It'll be time for dinner soon." he said, even though he made no move to step away from the wall. Draco just hummed in agreement as he moved his kisses up the other's jaw. Before Harry's mind turned incoherent, Draco pulled back as well, looking across Harry's face before pulling his arms down his sides.

"Did you bring the map?" he asked contently.

"Yeah, it's tucked into my Transfiguration homework." Harry stole one last kiss before moving to get it. Pulling his wand out, he unfolded the parchment with the usual promise for mischief and inspected it. "Hmm, seems like the closest people are some second years, on their way to the Ravenclaw common room, I'd guess. The Bloody Baron is off somewhere else." Draco sighed in relief, remembering all the times the ghost had nearly caught them in the tower.

They gathered their robes and walked towards the door. "So what form do you think my patronus will take?" Draco asked as he held out Harry's book bag.

Harry paused as he thought about the question he'd been asking himself. "Well, it's hard to say. You know mine is a deer, same as my mum and dad. And Hermione's is an otter, Ron's is a dog. Lupin says the patronus is like a guardian, so some people think it has to do with personality or something." He shouldered his bag with a sly grin. "Who knows, maybe the fake Mad Eye Moody was right and yours will turn out to be a ferret."

"Are you still going on about that?" Draco huffed.

Harry burst out in laughter. "Well it was pretty funny. "

The Slytherin boy looked rather disgruntled. "I suppose I sort of deserved it. I still have trouble believing you actually wanted to go out with me in fourth year. I was awful to you."

Harry felt his ears warm up as he answered. "I guess I just figured out why you were always able to get under my skin. And honestly, you were already starting to get better by then."

Draco raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Hmmn, if you say so. I still consider myself lucky." he said with a smile. Harry leaned up for another kiss before they made their way down the seemingly endless stairs.

He thought about all their secret meetings over the past year. Before they started coming here, Harry and Draco had relied heavily on the Marauder's Map to show them hidden spaces throughout the castle. They found that the Astronomy Tower was usually empty as it was only open to students during Astronomy class. Since then, they'd made it their secret place, a space where they could be together and not worry about the world around them.

They held hands as they descended down the tower, an act of affection that Harry knew Draco liked. The Slytherin boy had been full of surprises when they first decided to start a relationship. He was still just as proud and determined as Harry had always known him to be. However, Harry came to realize that Draco secretly had a terrible soft spot for the people he cared about, and that he was very much a cuddler.

Harry had also discovered that Draco had many insecurities, which he concealed with bravado and sarcasm as he stood in the shadow of his father. The pressure of being in a prestigious wizard family was high, and Draco had a reputation to keep, lest he anger Lucius. Underneath his facade was the young man who tried to do what was right; the man that only Harry, Ron, and Hermione had come to know.

Harry didn't know much about Draco's complicated relationship with his father, but knew that Draco had begun to lose faith in him at the start of fourth year. Death Eater attacks had become more rampant, and Draco had seen Lucius do terrible things. The recent events at the Department of Mysteries had been the tipping point, and had left Draco as lost and distraught as Harry.

Harry remembered Draco bursting into his private room at St. Mungo's Hospital two days after he'd been admitted, trailed by Hermione. There was no serious damage, but Harry had been kept there for the next week as a precaution, guarded by Aurors from the Ministry. Hermione and the Aurors had politely given them the afternoon alone.

The moment they left, Draco had moved from his chair to sit next to Harry on his bed. Harry went through everything that had happened, speaking in a rushed and distracted way. It wasn’t until he told Draco about Sirius that Harry had noticed his own tears. He broke off into shocked silence as the truth finally settled in, the truth that he’d never see Sirius again. Draco leaned close and held onto him for a long time, fussing over Harry’s cuts and broken ribs and arm until visiting hours were over.

Harry hated to think about if their positions had been switched, if Draco had been the one wrapped in bandages lying on a cot in the hospital. Yet sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder what might have changed if Draco had been at the Department of Mysteries that night.

Lucius was put on trial the next day, and had been in Azkaban ever since. Harry could tell that Draco felt very conflicted about it. He had looked up to his father and aspired to be like him for years, despite the cold and technical way Draco had been raised. Now he was angry at his father for blindly following Voldemort. Lucius was the type of man that believed reputation and tradition were everything, and Draco firmly believed it would be the man's downfall.

Harry shuddered to think of what would happen if Lucius learned of their relationship. He tightened his grip on Draco's hand as they walked down the empty hall.

He could feel the other's ring pressing comfortingly into his fingers. The heirloom was the only piece of jewelry Draco wore, and it suited him well. It was made of white gold, and had a flat square top, where the Black family crest was engraved. Narcissa had passed it on to Draco over the winter holiday. Harry knew the other treasured it as a link to his non-Malfoy heritage.

His thoughts shifted to Narcissa. "How is your mother?'

Draco looked caught off guard by the question, his hand stiffening in Harry's. "Fine." he replied shortly.

Harry decided not to push the question, sensing that the other didn't want to talk about his family. "And Parkinson? How's she?"

This time, Draco snorted affectionately. "She keeps pitching me ideas about what she'll do when she graduates. As of yesterday, she wants to be a healer. The day before, it was modeling. Three days before that, it was something at the Ministry. Poor girl doesn't know _what_ she wants."

Harry chuckled as Draco continued. "Out of all my friends, I'd like to think that Pansy would be the most accepting of us. Maybe we'll be able to tell her one day."

 _After the war ends_ was left unspoken, but understood nonetheless.

"One day." Harry agreed hopefully. "In the meantime, we'll just have to sneak around and hope we're not caught." He looked at Draco with an impish grin.

His boyfriend tried to smother his laugh with a cough. "No one could _ever_ accuse you of not being attracted to the thrill of it."

Harry scoffed as he shoved into Draco. "With everything I have to deal with - you know, fighting dark wizards and the like - I think I'm allowed to have _some_ fun."

Draco smirked at Harry playfully. "Anything for you, _dear_."

Harry paused, unable to contain the blush rising on his cheeks. He cleared his throat and tried to compose himself before replying. "Oh come on. We'll miss dinner if we keep walking at this pace." he said, pulling his boyfriend by the arm towards yet another staircase.

Draco simply laughed, allowing himself to be dragged along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and the Aurors should be the name of a band.


	3. Hidden

Harry blinked sleepily as he finally escaped Potions class. Hermione was trying to explain to Ron what Professor Snape's lecture had been about, and Harry had tuned her out long ago. He'd just ask Draco for help later.

_Speaking of which,_ he mused as he saw his boyfriend cross the hall not far ahead, trailing his usual group of Slytherin friends. Crabbe and Goyle were arguing with Zabini, while Pansy copied off of Nott's homework. Harry knew that Draco had a free period today before lunch, and was probably on his way to spend it in the Slytherin common room.

_Not anymore, he isn't_. Harry thought before walking faster down the hall.

"Oi, where're you off to?" Ron called out to him, but was stopped short, presumably by Hermione who must've also seen Draco.

Harry finally caught up, and shoved his shoulder into the other's while passing. Draco nearly stumbled to the floor and seemingly bristled in anger as he straightened back up. He looked up to see who had caused it, and Harry met his stunningly grey eyes with a steady stare. The rest of the Slytherins immediately turned on him, ready for a fight.

"Watch where you're going, _Malfoy_." Harry taunted with a smirk.

Draco's eyes went wide, surprised by such a direct confrontation. However he quickly, almost naturally, brought his face to a sneer. "Could say the same to you, _Potter_. Those glasses don't seem to do you much good, do they? Maybe I should _fix_ them for you." he said threateningly. The Slytherins jeered in agreement as passerby stopped to watch.

“Oh really? Are you sure you wouldn’t make Crabbe or Goyle do it instead?” The two boys stomped forward at their names. Harry's heart thudded as he fought the urge to laugh, trying to think of something antagonistic to say. “You and your little Inquisitorial Squad best keep quiet for the rest of the year. If not," Harry took a bold step forward. "We're going to have a problem.”

Unbeknownst to the other Slytherins and onlookers, Draco’s eyes glittered darkly at the challenge. “Oh is that so? Well my apologies then.” he said with a sarcastic tilt of his head. “I wouldn’t want to upset _the boy who lived_.”

Harry smirked at Draco, holding strong eye contact. He hated being called that, and his boyfriend knew it. But Harry refused to back down like Draco expected him to. He moved another step forward, standing far too close for enemies. The entire hall seemed to watch tensely as they waited for Harry's move. He leaned in closer, and Draco gasped so quietly that only Harry could hear. "I’ll be watching.” he muttered.

The whole group of Slytherins were completely floored by what they assumed was a threat. Draco's eyes were wide with shock, and Harry, pleased as could be with the reaction, turned and walked away with a grin.

It wasn't until he was at the end of the hall that he heard the first reactions from the Slytherins.

“Draco! How could you let him talk to us like that?!” Pansy demanded shrilly.

“You prat! Strutting around like you own the bloody castle!” Zabini yelled down the hall at Harry.

The group resumed their walk towards the dungeons, grumbling at Draco. Harry knew that in about ten minutes, just as they approach the Slytherin common room, Draco would find some reasonable excuse to leave and would make his way towards the Astronomy Tower. And Harry would wait for him there in the meantime.

He slowly made his way across the castle, resisting the urge to take out his map to watch Draco rush after him. Harry had long since realized that uncertainty was much more exciting. He finally reached the door to the tower, which was easily unlocked with Alohomora, and hopped up the stairs. His heart beat fast as he searched the predictably empty room, waiting expectantly to hear his boyfriend's feet pound up the tower.

Soon enough, Draco burst through the doorway, panting just slightly and taking long strides towards him. Harry's hand was caught and tugged hard, until he was stumbling into the other. A rush of excitement pulsed through him in the moment before Draco dragged him into a hungry kiss.

They moved against each other with passionate fluidity, pulling and grasping. Moments like these made Harry wish he could stop time and hold onto the memory forever. His worries and pain were far behind, and all he could think about was the feeling of Draco, full of emotion and fire. It was one of the things Harry loved best about Draco. They pressed closer together, and Draco's hands dropped to Harry's waist.

"Mmn, what was all that in the hall about?" Draco asked against his lips.

Harry stared into the other's smoldering eyes, thrilled by how easily he could rile Draco up. "I saw an opportunity, and I took it." he muttered simply.

Draco chuckled at him. "If you keep doing this every time you see me in the hall, people will start to talk, you know."

Harry tipped his head up for another kiss, which was quickly granted. "But you always reward me for my troubles." He grinned as Draco's huffed exasperatedly.

"You are _incorrigible._ "

"And you _love_ it." Harry said with a smirk as he twisted out of the other's grasp and stepped back teasingly. "Besides, you're the one who's so high maintenance."

At that, Draco growled playfully and rushed forward to tackle him. Harry dodged to the side and saw the Slytherin boy trip rather ungracefully out of the corner of his eye. He mercilessly took the opportunity to run across the massive room. However, Draco quickly got up, and Harry was suddenly reminded that the other was _much_ faster than him on foot. He yelped as he was chased to the balcony, and in no time, Harry was pinned to the banister.

The sun gleamed brightly and a strong wind ruffled their hair. They panted for breath as they laughed, looking out from the tallest point in the castle. Harry tried to escape his capture, but to no avail. Draco tightened his hold without a word, and pressed more weight down. Harry resigned to his defeat with a dramatic sigh and closed his eyes, waiting for the other to make the next move.

He felt a hand brush through his tangled hair, tucking a lock behind his ear. He opened his eyes to see Draco staring at him closely, no doubt looking at Harry's freckles. The Slytherin boy leaned down to kiss Harry and smiled. "Yeah, I do love it." Draco stepped back and sat down on the floor, dragging down Harry with him.

They sat with their feet dangling from the balcony. They watched as the Giant Squid came up from the lake and splashed a huge wave of water onto the shore. Students began filing out of the castle with trays of food, and Harry realized it was already lunchtime. He leaned his head onto his boyfriend's shoulder, deciding that food could wait.

"So, Ginny Weasley broke up with that Ravenclaw boy." Draco said offhandedly.

Harry groaned. "You heard about that?"

"Of course I heard about it. Gossip travels quickly here. Besides, the whole school already knows she's fancied you for years."

"It's not my fault." he grumbled.

"Well, does the poor girl have a chance with you?" Draco teased.

"I'll admit that she's pretty." Harry muttered with a slight blush. "But she's Ron's sister! It's just strange. And besides," he looked up and grinned at Draco. "She's not you."

The Slytherin boy blinked in surprise at the honest response before a slow smirk came to his face. "Yes, I suppose it is hard to be as genetically superior as me."

"Draco," he complained as he rolled his eyes. "Honestly though, don't worry about it. We're in this together."

His boyfriend took his hand gently. "Hmnn, was my jealousy so obvious?"

He laughed gently. "It's alright, it's kind of sweet."

"Oh spare me, please." Draco groaned.

Harry turned towards the other and held his face, staring into those beautiful eyes. "You, Draco Malfoy, are sweet." Harry leaned for a kiss. "And I'm going to miss you so bloody much this summer."

"Hey, it's too early for that. We still have a week and a half." Draco said in between more kisses.

Harry hummed in agreement and moved back to lean against the other. He held onto the other's hand as they went back to watching people walk about the grounds.

"Say Harry," Draco started in a quiet voice. "How has your scar been feeling?"

He looked down at their joined hands, trying not to think about the last time his scar had brought him searing pain. Harry turned his head into his boyfriend's shoulder, wishing the question hadn't been asked, and tried to focus on the clean smell of Draco. He felt a gentle hand come up to his back.

"Not good then?" Draco asked gently.

Harry nodded against the other's shoulder. "I think it's been getting worse."

Draco continued to rub circles into his back. "Did Professor Snape's occlumency lessons help at all?"

"Hah, if you could even call them lessons." He paused as terrible memory crawled its way through his mind. "Draco, there was this moment, in the Ministry of Magic. Voldemort, he got inside my head. My scar hurt more than anything I'd ever felt. He tried to get Dumbledore to kill me while I was possessed. And there was a moment there, that the pain was so unbearable, that I wanted him to do it."

Silence fell thick and heavy between them. Sometime while Harry was talking, Draco had stilled his hand, and it felt unsure and tense. He waited for Draco's reaction anxiously.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His boyfriend didn't sound alarmed like Harry was worried he would. Instead, he sounded sad, and it made Harry's heart twist up.

"I was- well, I was scared. It's terrifying to think that he has that kind of control over me." He took his hand back from Draco and stared at it. "Dumbledore said Voldemort probably wouldn't try it again, but what if he does? What if he uses me to hurt people? Last time, the only reason I could stop him was because I was so angry about Sirius." Harry raised his glasses and rubbed his eyes, trying to get the image of Sirius in the Veil out of his mind.

"Hey, Harry, look at me." He moved his glasses back into place and turned hesitantly, unsure about what Draco would say. But when he met the other's eyes, all Harry could see was pure sincerity. "You're stronger than you think. You can beat him. And besides, I'm right here. Like you said, we're in this together."

Harry buried his face back into his boyfriend's shoulder. _I don't deserve you Draco._ He felt his chest fill with warmth anyways, feeling as though he was truly not alone. Even as everything else fell apart, Draco was still there to pick Harry back up. He felt himself smiling as the tension in his shoulders eased.

Suddenly a voice came from behind them. "I thought I'd find you two here." The boys turned around to see Hermione by the door with her arms crossed. "Harry, you missed Transfiguration. McGonagall seemed pretty upset."

Harry groaned. "Oh no, I was supposed to turn in my essay today." Draco snickered next to him without remorse.

"'Mione, is it safe to look?" Ron called as he stumbled in with his hands over his eyes. "They aren't kissing again, are they?"

"Oi! As if I've never seen you two snogging!" Harry got up and ran at Ron. Within seconds, they were on the ground wrestling and throwing loose punches. Harry heard Hermione and Draco laughing above them.

"C'mon boys, let's go eat. I'm starving." Hermione said, stepping over them as she made her way back down the stairs. Harry let go of his choke hold on Ron and offered a hand to pull him up. The other Gryffindor boy took it with a smile, and allowed himself to be hoisted upright.

“Did you hear about the Quidditch match?" Draco asked with amusement.

"Of course I did." Ron replied. "It was only one of the best games of the year! Too bad the Catapults lost. I thought they might win."

"What? That's ridiculous. The Magpies had the match from the start."

Harry watched as Draco and Ron argued with a smile on his face. It made him absurdly happy to see the three people he cared about most laughing together. Hermione turned around and giggled at Harry's no doubt blissful expression. He felt his face go red at being seen, but he joined in the laughter anyways.

_I'm not alone._ he thought as he trailed after his friends.


	4. Hidden

It was the last day of the school year. OWLs were complete, trunks were packed, and final arrangements were made. Most of the students were inside the school, talking about their summer plans or exchanging addresses and promising to write each other. Harry and Draco had decided to take advantage and curl up together under a huge tree at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The mysteriousness of the forest seemed to sprawl out in a mist that kept them cool from the hot weather. Harry was telling the story of the flying car fiasco and his unexpected break out from the Dursleys. Draco thunked his head against the tree as he let out a stream of uncontrollable gasping laughs.

"Oh, Mrs. Weasley was  _so_ angry at the twins! Mr. Weasley was barely able to get them out of trouble from the Ministry. Then on the first day of term, Ron drove us from the platform to school, and he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He drove us _straight_ into the Whomping Willow." Harry continued, smiling brightly up at Draco from where his head lay in the other's lap. The Slytherin boy tried in vain to regain his composure, shaking with laughter and clutching at his white shirt.

Their ties had long since been abandoned in the heat. Draco had rolled up his sleeves and even undid three buttons at the top, a show of sloppiness he'd never let other Slytherins see. Harry, however, greatly appreciated the look, and reveled in the fact that he was the only one to see it. He pulled Draco by his collar into an upside down kiss, smiling at the way his boyfriend had to crane his neck down.

"Mmn. I remember seeing the car in the Daily Prophet. The school year hadn't even started yet and you were already in trouble." Draco looked down with such affection that Harry couldn't help but blush. Fair limbs stretched towards Harry to ruffle his dark hair, tugging fingers through the loose curls. Harry narrowed his eyes and pouted up at Draco. He'd spent a considerable amount of time that morning trying to tame his hair with moderate success.

Earlier, as Harry had left breakfast with Ron and Hermione, Draco had come up to him from behind to tap his wrist twice, their signal to meet in an hour. Harry had to try hard not to grin as Draco brushed past him, even more so when Hermione immediately caught the exchange and sent Harry a knowing smile. In the dormitory, Harry had set about fixing his hair to pass the time, an action provoked by Draco's constant comments about the state of it.

And now he had put all that work to waste. Harry decided he was okay with that.

A light breeze picked up and sunlight filtered through the leaves. He shared another lazy kiss with the other before slipping his eyes closed. Just as Harry relaxed and began to doze off in the comfort of Draco's presence, the hand in his hair stilled.

"What's on your mind?" he murmured. When no response came, Harry slowly blinked his eyes open. Draco had that distracted and troubled look, the one he'd only taken to recently. Harry knew that it meant the other was thinking of his family. As angry as Draco was at his father, he was still worried about his recent imprisonment.

Draco took Harry's left hand, gently skimming over the new scar there. _I must not tell lies._ It was one of the few noticeable scars he had retained from the school year. Harry waited patiently for Draco to collect his thoughts as he played with his fingers.

"We probably won't be able to write to each other over the holidays."

They'd been able to last summer. "Why not?" Harry asked gently, worry seeping into his voice.

"My mother. She's told me that father's friends will be staying at the manor. Death Eaters." he replied hesitantly.

Harry squeezed the hand holding his. "Are you going to be okay?" He could feel Draco's nervousness in the way his hand twitched and he wouldn't return his gaze.

Draco tried for a laugh that sounded more like a shaky exhale. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I just think it would be safer to not write."

He could tell Draco hated the idea just as much as him. Last year, exchanging letters had made the summer with their families more bearable. Draco taught him obscure hexes to throw at Dudley, while Harry reassured Draco when he was yelled at by his father. They shared more secrets than they could count with each other, some of which Harry had never even told his best friends. But Harry had to agree. It would be too dangerous to risk it.

"I wish things were different." he whispered, lightly clutching Draco's hand and shifting his head in the other's lap.

"I know."

It was moments like these that Harry could feel the world on his shoulders. As a child, all he'd wanted was to be loved. Now at Hogwarts, his friends loved him, and Hagrid and Dumbledore and McGonagall loved him, and Draco loved him. But sometimes he felt as though he paid a high price for it. Every year he lost more of the people he'd come to consider family. He needed to keep them safe, and he didn't know how. Harry could feel the beginning of a headache taking hold.

"I actually have some things that I want you to keep with you over the holiday." Draco murmured, as if afraid to cause a disturbance. Harry sniffled and breathed deeply before sitting up as Draco Summoned his book bag. He pulled out a stack of papers bound with string and handed it to Harry. The first thing he saw was his own handwriting, and realized it was all the letters he'd written to Draco. On top of the stack, he saw the only photo they had ever taken together.

The photo was taken in London during the winter holiday by Ron, who had borrowed his dad's camera. Naturally, the Malfoys had no idea where their son was, believing that he had gone out shopping for Pansy's Christmas present. But the photo proved otherwise. It showed the two of them at a Muggle children's playground that was blanketed in snow. Harry was wearing his new emerald green jumper that Mrs. Weasley had made him, too warm from running to notice the cold. Draco on the other hand was heavily clothed. His long black fur-lined coat looked surprisingly Muggle, and made his pale features look especially washed out against the snow.

In the photo, Harry chased Draco across a swing set, threatening the other with a handful of snow. Draco taunted him in turn, running backwards until he tripped over something, sending him flying backwards. Harry, running too fast to even think about stopping, landed squarely onto Draco. Despite the pain Harry was sure the other felt, Draco had looked up at Harry with the most beautiful smile. Harry still remembered how hot Draco's mouth had felt pressed against his and how little he had cared about the wet snow seeping into his shoes.

After a moment, Harry brought his mind back to their current hiding spot from the hot sun. He looked up at Draco, trying to understand why he was receiving these. Admittedly, he was faintly surprised that Draco had kept all the letters, just as Harry had secretly done. But Draco avoided his eyes and instead fidgeted with something in his hand.

"I want you to keep them safe for me. I'm not sure what it'll be like at the Manor, so I want to be prepared. They mean a lot to me."

Harry stared blankly for a moment before snapping into a response. "Yes. Yes, of course." he replied hastily.

"And this. It's for you. I want you to have it." Draco said nervously as he held out his left hand, palm faced down.

Harry took it and opened his hand to see Draco's ring. He gasped in wonder and turned the white gold ring over in his hand. "Are you sure, Draco? I mean, this is important to you."

"Yes, it is. That's why I want you to have it. We most likely won't see each other again for a long time. No matter what happens this year, know that you can trust me. _Please_ , trust me. And know that I care about you and that I-"

"Draco, you're scaring me." Harry watched worriedly as the other's nose and eyes reddened. He reached out and gathered Draco into his arms, nuzzling his face into his neck. Draco's arms pulled up around him and held him equally as tight.

"I know."

Those two words carried a deeper meaning to Harry and Draco than what was said. They meant _It'll be okay_ and _I know you better than anyone_ and _I love you_. Those two words always meant that and more.

Draco pulled in a shuddering breath and subtly wiped his eyes. They held each other's hands, and the Slytherin boy tried to put on his best lopsided smile that he knew Harry loved.

They were both scared of what the future would bring. They were both scared of losing those who were important to them. And they knew it wasn't fair that their childhoods were slipping through their fingers, stolen by the approaching war. But they had made a promise. They knew that they'd do anything to find their way back to each other. Harry doubted that Draco, stubborn git that he was, would ever let that go.

Harry put the ring on his right hand's middle finger, where Draco wore it, but found that it was too tight. Instead, he wore it on his third finger, where it glinted in the light of the sinking sun. The feeling was unfamiliar, but Harry liked the newness of it.

He looked up at Draco, at his stormy eyes and sharp features. His boyfriend looked as though he didn't know what to do. The rare expression made Harry smile. He pulled Draco close and kissed him, pouring all his love into the action.

They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening together, hidden from the world under the lofty tree.

That night after dinner, during which Harry and Draco risked glancing at each other more than usual, Harry climbed the stairs up to Gryffindor Tower for the last time as a fifth year. He thought about what gift he could give to Draco in return for the ring. The first thought, his favorite red and gold scarf, was quickly dismissed. It would be far too obvious to anyone who found it. It would need to be something discreet.

His suddenly lit up with an idea, and he rushed up the last few steps into the boys' dormitories. He dug around his neatly packed trunk, making a mess he knew he'd have to clean up later, but came back victorious. In his hand, he held a simple watch with a round face and frayed navy band, it's hands motionless. It had broken during the second Triwizard task, when he hadn't thought to take it off before diving into the lake. He had worn it for weeks after, until Draco had made enough jokes about him wearing the broken watch purely out of habit.

Harry took the watch down to the common room. By the fireplace, Ron and Hermione were playing Exploding Snap. Ron looked up at Harry as he approached, managing a smile before several cards exploded in his face. Hermione giggled and gathered the rest of the cards.

"That makes it eight to five, Ron. At this rate you're going to have to sing to everyone in the room."

"Yeah we'll see who's laughing when I win and get to fly you on a broomstick."

Harry snorted. "Well, good luck with that. For Hermione to even bet flying, which we both know she hates, means she's going to win." He looked to see Hermione's self-assured smile.

"You could at least _pretend_ to be on my side, you know." Ron grumbled.

"Did you get to spend time with Draco today?" Hermione asked in a hushed voice as Harry sat down next to them.

Harry hummed in reply, not wanting to think about the fact that it'd be a long time before they saw each other again. He admitted to himself that he was worried about Draco. Suddenly, the trip to France seemed like a rather good idea.

"I was wondering if you could fix this." Harry said as he handed the watch to Hermione.

Ron chortled at him. "It only took you a whole year to ask."

Hermione turned it over, giving it a quick inspection. "Seeing as how it's a normal Muggle watch, it should be good with a quick mending charm, which I know you're still awful at, Harry." She gazed at him in amusement as she took out her wand. " _Reparo._ " As soon as she cast the spell the watch fixed itself up, looking as new as it had a year ago, which Harry supposed wasn't new at all.

Harry beamed at Hermione, giving her a quick thanks before leaving his two best friends as he returned up the stairs. The faint ticking emitted by the watch was familiar, and Harry was glad to have it working again. As he sat down on his bed, he set to transfigure the band to better suit Draco. With his wand aimed at the watch, Harry focused on changing the material from cheap fabric to dark leather.

Then, upon remembering what Draco would be returning home to over the summer, he decided to add another spell. Harry waved his wand in a circular motion around the watch, weaving a blue bubble of magic into the face of it. If Draco were to cast any sort of protection charm, it would be reinforced by the spell. It was probably silly, but Harry wanted Draco to know that he was there for him, even if they wouldn't be able to contact each other.

Humming with satisfaction, Harry sent the watch off with a teleportation spell. If all went well, it'd now be lying on Draco's pillow, waiting for his return.


	5. Hidden

Harry fell forwards onto his bed with a dull thump for the fourth time that day. Life with the Dursleys was just as painfully boring as he had remembered.

Even the suburban town they lived in was soul crushing in its vacantness. There was no coffee shop, no movie theatre, and no shopping center. Not that Harry had any Muggle money to spend if there had been.

Actually, the only place to go within walking distance was the old rusted playground. But Harry had just been there yesterday, and found he couldn't be bothered to go again.

He sighed dully and reached for the most recent letter from Hermione to reread it yet again.

She'd been able to meet and catch up with her Muggle friends, who were convinced that she went to a prestigious school in Scotland, which was technically true. She noted how carefree most of them lived without the threat of dark wizards at every turn. She also wrote about how antsy she was beginning to feel without being able to use magic, a sensation Harry sympathized with. It was funny to realize how heavily he relied on magic to get through the day once he wasn't able to use it.

While he wasn't allowed to cast spells, Harry still found that he never let his wand far out of reach. After a year of remaining constantly alert for a potential attack, Harry felt uneasy and vulnerable without his wand. Even now, his wand lay within arms reach on his bedside table.

Harry returned his attention to Hermione's letter and set it back down, thinking about how to respond to it. He hadn't done much during his stay with the Dursleys. He spent most days in his room, avoiding the other occupants of the house. When he did leave, it was to eat or waste time at the playground. Vernon no longer made him cook or clean because, although he would never admit it, he was scared of Harry. Which suited Harry just fine.

Hedwig chirped from her perch on his desk. It had taken a week of convincing before Vernon agreed to let her out of her cage, which was admittedly less time than last summer. Harry reached back over to stroke her wing, and she cooed happily.

Harry sighed again, letting his head hit his pillow.

It had been almost a month since he'd last seen Draco.

He missed the other desperately, and sometimes found himself up late at night worrying about him. He hoped he was just being silly whenever he thought about Draco, stuck with Death Eaters for a whole summer. The Slytherin boy was, after all, raised by a Death Eater, and they all probably spent Christmas together or something.

But Harry couldn't help himself. It was probably just from not being able to see the other as often as he'd like. Harry wore his ring daily, and had even started an unconscious habit of twisting the ring around his finger when he was bored.

While it was nice to keep in touch with Ron and Hermione, who were his only source of contact with the wizarding world, Harry couldn't help but wish that he could talk to his boyfriend instead. Every time Hedwig came pack with mail, he let his hopes rise. Each letter sent from someone other than Draco only served to shove that hope back down.

He gazed out his small open window to see the sun high in the sky. "Another day full of nothing." he muttered. His stomach grumbled, reminding him of his need to eat. Harry stood up, stretching his arms above him as he walked downstairs for lunch.

Aunt Petunia was making final preparations in the kitchen while Vernon and Dudley sat together on the couch, staring blankly at the television. Every year, Dudley became more and more like his father, and Harry imagined his cousin would grow a head of white hair any day now as a final step of the transformation. Harry walked past them towards the kitchen.

"Hello Aunt Petunia. How are you today?" She was the only one Harry bothered being polite too. She was, after all, the least horrible of the three.

"Fine, Harry. Fine." she muttered distractedly. "Here's your sandwich."

Harry took the offered plate and thanked her before going back upstairs to eat. Dinner was the only meal where he was expected to sit with them at the table. Otherwise, he much preferred the quiet company of Hedwig.

Fate, however, did not seem to be on his side. _As bloody usual_ , he thought with a grimace. Dudley must have gone upstairs right before Harry, because now they were both standing at their bedroom doors.

Harry's first reaction was to ignore his cousin, and he held his hand out towards his doorknob.

Dudley's first reaction, however, was to sneer at Harry.

Upon looking at his outstretched hand, Dudley noticed the ring glinting on his finger. Harry could practically hear gears in his mind moving as he thought of an insult. Harry mentally groaned and prepared himself for the upcoming stupidity.

"And what's that there, Harry? I didn't know you had enough money to buy a ring. You must've stolen it."

Harry had quite a sum of money in Gringotts, as a matter of fact.

"Or _maybe_ it's from a boyfriend.”

Oh wow, he was actually right this time.

“Gosh Harry, I always figured you were bent, but didn't ever think you'd get a date to save your life." Dudley looked very smug and immensely pleased with himself for thinking of an insult so witty.

Harry rolled his eyes.  _If only he knew._ But, naturally, he couldn't let Dudley walk away feeling smart.

"If you must know, it's charmed. It lets me use magic outside of school." he said nonchalantly.

Dudley stiffened. "There's no such thing."

He shrugged in response. "You should hope that you're right, Dudley." he replied airily as he continued into his room, shutting his door behind him.

Harry heard his cousin linger, probably worried that Harry would hex him from behind. Then he heard heavy footsteps dash into the room across the hall and Dudley's door slam shut.

Harry snickered as he sat on his bed. Hedwig had left while Harry went to the kitchen, presumably to her cage to sleep for the day. He picked up his ham sandwich and a forgotten Quidditch magazine from the floor and tried to pass some time.

Even after all the amazing things he'd seen as a wizard, Harry continued to be impressed by moving pictures. He saw the Chudley Cannons race across the page, attempting to close a huge point gap with the opposing team, and no doubt failing. He also saw Viktor Krum had an interview about his future career plans. But Harry found that he kept losing focus and rereading the same sentences. He gave up, and instead let his thoughts wander back to his boyfriend.

It would be Draco's sixteenth birthday in four days. Harry wished they could celebrate it together. Or that he could at least send a present. Or just get some sort of confirmation that Draco was okay.

Harry sighed deeply, imagining that he was sitting in the Astronomy Tower with Draco's arm wrapped around him. He remembered the hours they spent studying together, Draco always willing to explain a tricky topic. He remembered the quick glances they sent to each other from across the Great Hall and the kisses they stole between classes.

Two months. That was all, only two more months before he saw Draco again.

Harry sighed again, wanting time to move quicker.

 

* * *

 

Another week churned by. A rapid knocking at his door roused Harry from an afternoon nap. He heard his aunt's voice through the door as she called "Supper, now."

Harry dragged himself out of bed, not bothering to change out of his red plaid pyjama trousers.

He lazily walked downstairs, greeted by the wonderful smell of Sunday roast. On the dining table, dishes were heaped with carrots, potatoes, gravy, and roast beef. Dudley and Vernon were already in their customary seats, looking impatient to stuff more food into their guts.

Petunia looked at Harry once he threw himself in his chair, and gave him a displeased expression, no doubt due to his clothes. She opened her mouth to complain, but she was cut off short by a huge crashing sound coming from the back garden.

Harry jumped up to his feet, the sudden rush of adrenaline succeeding at snapping him awake. His aunt shrieked and Harry pulled out his wand, alarm clawing up at him.

This was it.

He had been found.

It was Death Eaters, it was Voldemort himself, it was-

Harry shut down his thoughts and stalked towards the back door. The Dursleys watched on in silent fear. He raised his wand and had a disarming charm at the tip of his tongue before even peering through the window. He searched for the intruder with sharp eyes.

Dark clothes contrasted starkly with platinum hair as the figure slumped on the grass, a broomstick lying not far away. "Harry?" the figure called out, trying to sit up. They had said his name in a way that only one person possibly could.

Harry gasped and wrenched open the door. "Draco!"

He rushed forward, bare feet slipping across the grass and loose dirt, desperate to reach the person he had missed so damn much. He grabbed hold of an arm and pulled his boyfriend upright.

_He’s here. He’s okay._

Draco took one look at him, and hugged him fiercely.

"Just what is going on here!?!" Vernon demanded from inside.

Harry outright ignored him and gave all his attention to Draco. He took in his pale complexion, marred by scrapes that seemed to have come from crash landing into the Dursleys' big tree. It might have made Harry laugh, except Draco's arrival was very unexpected and he refused to meet the Harry’s eyes.

"Draco, what's wrong? Why are you here?"

"I'm fine, can we just go inside?"

Harry helped the other stand. After retrieving Draco's broomstick, he led the way inside.

Vernon followed them down the hall, yelling and demanding answers. "Now listen here, you best tell me what's happening. This is _my_ house, and-"

Harry stopped him short with a glare. "Sit and eat your dinner Vernon." His uncle began to turn purple, but did as Harry said.

The pair left the dumbfounded Dursleys and walked swiftly up the stairs, neither of them speaking until they were alone. Harry shut his door, taking a moment to breathe before turning to face the other.

Draco shrugged off his cloak and sat down heavily on his bed. Without all the commotion, Harry was able to get a better look at him. Draco looked as though he hadn't slept properly in weeks, yet his eyes still held a familiar hard glint. As he looked up at Harry though, the hard glint faded and was replaced with an emotion Harry had never seen on the other before. It was fear.

Harry kneeled in front of him and held his hands. "Draco, please tell me what's happening."

The Slytherin boy looked as though he was struggling to think straight, as though any second something terrible would happen.

"I- I can't. I can't tell you. I, I'm sorry."

Harry could only blink in shock, and felt a flicker of hurt pass through him. One look at Draco, though, had him chiding himself for the reaction. His boyfriend obviously looked torn about his furtiveness. If Draco really couldn't tell him, Harry trusted that it was with good reason.

"Okay." he sighed. "It's going to be alright." Harry pulled the other in and kissed his forehead tenderly. "We're going to get through whatever this is."

Draco's breath hitched, the only warning before his face crumpled. Tears began to slide down his face, slow and silent at first. But Draco’s emotions quickly gained more momentum.

Harry felt deep heat spread through his chest at the sight. His heart constricted with anguish as he sat up to pull his boyfriend close.

The rest of the world slipped away as they clutched to one another. Harry felt the way Draco shook as he tried to take in more air. He ran a hand soothingly through the other's hair.

The sky turned purple and Harry's knees began to ache before they separated, Draco's breath having finally steadied.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't really cry that often. I just..." Draco trailed off as he rubbed his red eyes.

"No, _please_ don't be sorry." Harry insisted, shaking his head. "I'm glad that you're here." he reached up to cup Draco's cheek, and felt the other lean into his hand. "I've missed you."

"I know. I've missed you."

Harry smiled and left briefly to get a fresh towel from the linen cupboard. When he came back, he was able to convince Draco that a warm shower would help. He led them to the bathroom and turned on the water for Draco, who had no idea how Muggle showers worked. As Draco shrugged off his black dress shirt, Harry pointed out different bath products and left with a final kiss on the other's cheek.

He went to his dresser to get pyjamas for Draco to wear, finding a pair of dark blue trousers that were a too long on him and would most likely fit. When he returned to the bathroom, he set the clothes down next to the sink and retrieved a first aid kit from the cupboard.

"When you're done just turn the dial until the water shuts off. I left some pyjamas for you. I'm going to go bring some dinner up to my room."

"Thank you." Draco replied quietly.

Harry went downstairs to find the rooms empty. It seemed that the Dursleys had run off to their rooms as quickly as they could to avoid Draco. In the kitchen, he was surprised to find two plates of Sunday roast on the counter.

He walked back up to his room with silverware, water, and the plates of roast stacked neatly on a tray. When he opened his door, he found Draco sitting on his bed and toweling his hair dry. Harry chuckled at how messy the usually immaculate hair was. Draco looked up and seemingly melted into a relaxed state.

"Feel better now?" Harry asked kindly.

"Yes." Draco replied with a faint smile.

Harry set the serving tray on his dresser. In the corner of the room, Hedwig woke up and seemed pleased that Draco was there. His boyfriend was always awful about spoiling her with treats. He reached out to scratch her head and she chirped happily.

Draco looked around the room, as if realizing for the first time where he was. Harry supposed it was strange that Draco was here, in the middle of Muggle suburbia. He watched his boyfriend as he studied the sparse decorations around the room, mostly animated Quidditch posters.

"So, the Dursleys, huh? Can't say it was a pleasure meeting them." Draco said distaste.

Harry scoffed. "Me neither."

"It's still hard to believe that you of all people grew up not knowing anything about the wizarding world. Although I suppose it does explain why you were so dim as a first year."

"Says the one who challenged me to a duel because I didn't want to be your friend." Harry replied with a smirk.

At that, Draco gave a big smile, the first real smile Harry had seen all day. Harry's heart melted a little at the sight, not that he'd admit it.

"Oh please, we were _both_ brats back then. Besides, look at us now. We turned out alright."

Harry laughed and sat down on his bed next to his boyfriend. Draco continued to look around Harry's small room. He looked at the bedside table, where three small framed photos sat. The first was of Harry, Hermione, and Ron from third year, celebrating after Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup, while the second was the one Draco had given him on the last day of school. Draco picked up the third and looked at it closely in amazement.

"Are these your parents?" he asked gingerly.

"Yeah. I've got a few photos of them. Hagrid gave them to me a few years ago." Harry reached for the first aid kit and opened it. "Here, let me bandage up your cuts."

Draco complied and sat still as Harry applied ointment. "Ugh, what is this Muggle stuff you're putting on me? It's sticky and smells weird."

Harry laughed. "Stop complaining. We're not old enough to use magic yet, so this is the best we've got."

"Hah. Whenever I used magic outside of school, my father just bribed my way out of trouble."

"Then it's a wonder that the Malfoys have any money left at all." Harry snickered as he got smacked on the arm.

"Hey, I only did it when I _really_ needed to. Otherwise he got upset with me." Draco stopped short and looked away from Harry. The sudden change reminded Harry that something bad must have happened for Draco to come find him.

Harry put down the bandage he was about to put on. "What is it? Is your father back at the Manor already?"

Draco scoffed. "No, but I can assure you that he'll break out within the year. He's probably dreading the moment too. My mother's in charge of the Manor until then." He paused to fiddle with the hem of his borrowed shirt. "I'd almost forgotten how strong willed she is when she doesn't have to answer to him."

"Well if it's not that, what's troubling you?"

Draco seemed to have an inner battle about how much to share with him. The moment Harry gave up hope that he'd reply at all, Draco took in a shaky breath.

"It's _him_ . The Dark L- _Voldemort_ ." he muttered with a shiver. "He was at the Manor yesterday. He offered me a chance to clear my father's failure."

"Did you take it?" Harry asked incredulously.

Draco went pale and continued in a whisper. "I don't think I have a choice."

Harry felt sick and found himself unable to reply.

"Harry, I don't know what to do. Snape says he'll help me, but I really don't see how he possibly can." Draco looked down and his voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm scared."

"Scared that you won't succeed? Or scared that you will?" Harry asked gently.

"Both." he replied, stricken.

Harry held the other close for the third time that night. He tried to pour his love into the hug, wanting to reassure his boyfriend that he was there for him. Draco pulled back after a few moments, and Harry silently finished patching his cuts up. After the last bandage was applied, he brought their dinner over to his bed.

They stayed relatively quiet over dinner, trying to pretend for normalcy and simply enjoy one another's company after six weeks apart. Draco picked around the carrots on his plate, which Harry couldn’t help but tease him for. They stole bites of roast beef off of each other's plates and bumped their shoulders together.

Harry belatedly realized that they had never eaten a proper meal together, as they usually sat at other ends of the Great Hall. He gave Draco a large smile at the thought, which the other returned without missing a beat.

When their plates were clear and their bellies were full, they went to put their dishes in the kitchen sink and brush their teeth, Draco using a spare toothbrush.

Harry shut the door to his bedroom again, and turned to find Draco very close.

Suddenly, their months of being apart seemed to disappear. This was who they were - what they needed, what they _craved_ . Simply being _together_ again, alone and away from those who would judge and criticize.

Harry met the other’s eyes, and leaned in closer. He felt Draco's hand move up towards the side of his face. Their lips met together in a gentle kiss. Harry felt a swell of emotion fill him. He felt whole again in a way that he hadn't in a long time.

The future was uncertain. They were both caught in the middle of a war with no end in sight, and Harry was attacked yearly by cruel dark wizards.

But right now, Draco was okay. He was here, standing in Harry's room in the middle of Muggle nowhere. Their lips moved together tenderly, and Harry felt _alive_ again.

He playfully bit at Draco's lower lip, feeling the other relax into him. His boyfriend made little noises of satisfaction that made Harry smile.

"Happy birthday Draco."

"Mmmn, happy birthday Harry." he responded between kisses.

Harry chuckled as he pulled away. "It's too early for that, I've still got to wait another month." he said as he turned out the light and led them backwards towards his bed.

Harry set his glasses down on the bedside table and climbed into his small bed first, back facing the wall and holding up the covers. Draco joined him, and they spent a good amount of time giggling and trying to find a position that they were both happy with. In the end, Draco laid his head on Harry's chest, who had his arms wrapped around the other. The open window let a cool breeze through the room.

Harry kissed the crown of Draco's head. "It's a shame we haven't been able to do this before." he said, smiling against the other's temple.

"Mmmn. I am _definitely_ taking you to France next year. We're going to sleep all day, just like this."

Harry chuckled. "Anything for you, Draco."

He felt himself relax into the darkness, feeling warm breath across collarbone. Draco's hand searched for his under the covers and fiddled with the ring around his finger.

"You're not alone, Draco. We're going to get through this together. I trust that you'll do what's right, and I'm right here to help you." He kissed Draco again. "I love you."

Draco squeezed his hand tightly, as if wanting to hold on forever. "I know. I love you."

Harry felt pure bliss fill him at the words, and he moved to kiss Draco again. That night, for the first time since Sirius died, Harry fell asleep feeling happy and safe.

 

* * *

 

Harry woke up to the strong light of the sun on his face. He stretched out under the covers, and found himself right up against the wall, which was unusual. Harry shrugged and got out of bed blearily. He looked over at the pictures on his bedside table and sighed, wishing he could visit his friends.

Downstairs, he could hear the sound of sausage and eggs frying. He walked to the breakfast table, and the Dursleys were all suddenly staring at him.

"... Good morning."

They looked around him, as if expecting someone else. Harry raised an eyebrow, and continued into the kitchen. "Hello Aunt Petunia. How are you?"

"Oh, just fine Harry. And, uh, how is your friend?"

Harry drew his eyebrows together. It was unusual for the Dursleys to ever ask about his wizarding life. "Oh, well Ron and Hermione are fine."

Aunt Petunia didn't answer, and instead passed him a plate of breakfast. He took it to the table and sat down across from Vernon and Dudley. His cousin seemed rather quiet today, which was a relief.

Suddenly, Vernon hit the table. Harry jumped as his uncle started yelling.

"You listen to me, _boy_ . You better tell us what last night was all about. You can't just go on doing whatever you like here. This is _my_ house!" he yelled, turning purple.

Harry was stunned. He was pretty sure he hadn't done anything last night that would upset Vernon. "What do you-"

Vernon stood up threateningly. "Oh don't play _stupid_. Who was that boy?"

His eyes opened wide. _A boy? What is he going on about?_

"I'm sorry, I don't understand..."

Vernon went still, eyes also wide open. The house was silent enough that the sound of a pin dropping would ring through. Then he sat down heavily, as if he knees had given out.

"Go take your breakfast to your room." he ordered.

Harry obeyed without question. On the way up the stairs, he heard Vernon muttering angrily. "Listen, we are to have nothing to do with whatever _magic_ this is."

He couldn't figure what this was about for the life of him. He eventually just shrugged. The Dursleys were probably just upset about one thing or another. It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

When Harry set his plate down on his dresser, he reached down to twist around the third finger of his right hand, feeling as though he was missing something.


	6. Shadow

Draco sighed deeply as he slicked back his hair. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, inspecting the shadows under his eyes disdainfully. He'd be expected to leave his room for afternoon tea soon, and he dreaded leaving his solitude. He didn't think he could to stand another day with his father's friends coming through the Manor as they pleased.

After the battle at the Department of Mysteries, the Dark Lord's followers needed a new place to use as headquarters. The Manor was volunteered, and his mother had hardly been able to refuse with Lucius in Azkaban. They had probably expected her to be just as obedient throughout the entire affair. Draco couldn't help but scoff at the thought.

It was probably due to the fact that Lucius was gone that his mother had been able to take charge. She became the head of the house in his stead, and was doing remarkably well. Polite as ever, she made it clear that decisions were to be made through her, and that impetuous behavior was not tolerated in the Manor.

Draco himself had put up a strong front throughout the summer. Under the constant watch of Death Eaters, he had to work especially hard to act as Lucius' son. He walked with pride and snapped at others arrogantly, always careful to never overstep his bounds. After all, he didn't have the Mark, and could only get away with so much. Draco was reminded of this often, usually in the form of a threat.

He straightened his collar again before moving towards the door, steeling his expression into one of passive disinterest. His gaze turned towards his wrist out of habit, and he looked at Harry's old watch as it ticked the time away. He struggled to keep his face free of emotion as he was reminded of how much he missed the other. Draco tapped the face of it, a nervous habit he had picked up over the summer. The action always sent the most inexplicable wave of Harry's magic over him, most likely trace amounts left over from the many years Harry had worn it. On days that were worse, he found himself tapping the watch frequently, trying to hold onto the fact that the end of summer would mean seeing Harry again.

It had been about four weeks since they'd last seen each other. Four arduous weeks of being someone he wasn't.

There had been times where Draco had come very close to sending an owl to Harry. Times when Draco was driven mad with loneliness and doubt. Times when he could almost believe that his memories with Harry were from another reality. He managed to stop himself from writing every time, reminding himself that the risk was too great.

Draco wished that he could've spent his birthday with Harry. The day had come and passed like it did every year. He had woken up to an extravagant breakfast, the garden table laden with poached eggs, sausages, and Dutch puff pancakes. A chair, as always, remained vacant at the head of the table. Afterwards, his mother accompanied him to Diagon Alley to pick out a gift. As he walked around the wizarding neighborhood, Draco irrationally imagined seeing his boyfriend a few times, only for it to be a stranger. He had chided himself every time for his foolishness, and wound up picking a new pair of dragon hide boots.

Draco groaned in frustration and tried to stop thinking about Harry. He hardened his facial expression once again before leaving his room.

A faint summer breeze drifted through an open windows, doing little to nothing to warm the dark hall. He walked on, staring past the portraits of his deceased relatives. He had learned long ago that they disliked disturbances and spent their time muttering about the proud history of the Malfoys. The sound of Draco’s shoes clicking against the floor was suddenly drowned out by a group of voices downstairs. His brow crinkled in confusion as he began walking briskly towards the grand staircase to find the cause. The moment he was able to see what was going on, his whole body turned numb.

By the front door, he saw a crowd of witches and wizards- Death Eaters he had known since childhood. Just in front of them, evoking fear and devotion without any effort at all, was Lord Voldemort himself. Draco's mind began racing, trying to figure out why he was here. He had never met the dark wizard before, only heard about him through rumors or stories from his father and Harry. He could see now that neither of them could have ever prepared him for this meeting.

The Dark Lord looked up at Draco, his eyes piercing and sharp. He grinned up at the boy with a smile so horrible it seemed to chill the room. When he spoke, it was with a voice that strangely sounded like knives being sharpened.

"Why, Draco Malfoy. Just the person I was looking for."

Draco just stared, trying to overcome his fear. His mother stepped forward.

"Darling, the Dark Lord wishes to speak with you. Come, join us in the parlor."

It took a moment for Draco to even register that she had spoken. He jerkily walked down the last few steps and followed close behind his mother. Lord Voldemort motioned to his followers to stay put, and led Draco and his mother through their own home. Draco's mind was blank, trying not to imagine all the terrible things that could happen once the door to the parlor closed. He suddenly felt like he was twelve again, clenching his fists and wishing that his father were here. The thought nearly made him trip over his own feet.

They passed over the threshold, and the door swung shut with a resounding thud. Draco and his mother sat together on a grey silk settee, far away from where the Dark Lord sat. He didn't seem to mind, and focused his attention towards the two of them. Draco felt a shiver ran down his back as Lord Voldemort's crimson gaze locked onto his.

"Now, Draco. I understand that you'll be attending your sixth year at Hogwarts soon. Is that so?"

Draco merely nodded, not trusting his voice.

"I see. Lucius has told me good things about you. Before he made a fool of himself, that is. I trust that you understand the position your father is in. I won't be forgiving him any time soon." Lord Voldemort continued in a drawling voice, seemingly unaffected about the matter one way or another. "But, I may be encouraged to overlook his failure if you were to... complete a task for me."

Draco felt his heart stammer in his chest.

_Harry._

The Dark Lord stared expectantly. His request left no room for refusal, that much was clear. Draco resisted the urge to look to his mother for an answer. Now was not the time to show any hesitancy or weakness.

"Yes, my Lord. What would you have me do?"

The dark wizard's eyes gleamed hungrily, and Draco fought to keep his hands from trembling.

"It’s about time we put an end to the _dear_ Headmaster’s reign."

Time slowed down. Draco could feel his heartbeat through the shock those words brought.

“Professor Dumbledore?” His head was swimming. His own words felt jumbled and confused.

_But it should be Harry. Why is it not Harry? Why am I so relieved?_

“You are going to kill him for me, Draco.”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the evening blurred its way through Draco's mind. His mother, the ever perfect hostess, insisted that the Dark Lord and his company stay for dinner.

The Death Eaters sat rigidly with napkins folded across their lap. Lord Voldemort took up the head of the table, the seat in which Draco's father had always sat, swirling a glass of cognac. His mother never let any indication of anxiety cross her face, but Draco could see her gripping the chair arms beneath the linen table cloth.

The room stayed mostly silent, occasionally interrupted by small talk about the food or latest news. Otherwise, the only sounds were of clinking silverware and Nagini slithering across the marbled flooring. Every time she passed Draco, he couldn't help the small shiver that tingled down his spine.

After the long and intense meal was over, the Dark Lord and his followers gathered back in the entrance hall. He looked towards Draco with a malevolent smirk.

"I’ll give you some time to consider my offer, Draco. Until then," he said with a nod. Then Lord Voldemort disapparated in a flourish of black robes, followed by the rest of the Death Eaters.

The house was suddenly emptier than it had been all summer.

His mother took down the hall swiftly without a glance back, shoulders tense and head held high. Draco took a shuddering breath and stared around the entrance hall he had known his whole life. It was cold and empty, and he felt more alone than ever before.

He left to look for his mother, and found the door to his father's study ajar. It was where she always went when she was upset. He creaked the door open and walked in to find her staring up at a portrait of his father. It was an image Draco had come to detest over the years. Fair hair and eyes the cold color of steel. A sense of self-importance and cunning. The portrait reflected far too much of what he saw in the mirror.

"Oh Lucius, what should I do?"

Draco stepped further into the room and shut the door. "Mother?"

She turned around, and Draco saw the same dread he felt painted on her face. She walked toward him and pulled him into a hug, something she seldom did. Draco felt his emotions swell inside him, and he finally released his hold on them. He felt terror settle in his chest like cement, and it dragged through his body, slow and creeping. His mother clutched to him tightly and rubbed circles into his shoulder.

"Draco. My dear son. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you got involved. I wanted to protect you and I couldn't. Now the Dark Lord has given you this task. I wanted so badly to prevent you from taking the same path as your father."

Draco struggled to breathe as he leaned onto her shoulder, trying so hard to just forget. He wanted to just sit down and stop thinking and wait until the world froze over.

A knock on the door disturbed the tense silence. Draco and his mother were startled into backing away from each other. She wiped her eyes lightly and called, "Come in."

The door swung open to reveal Professor Snape.

Draco stared at him in disbelief. Suddenly everything he knew about the potions master rushed back to him. This was the man who had a hand in both sides of this war. Who hated Harry and yet had saved his life countless times, who Dumbledore trusted beyond reason or explanation. And in this moment, his face was kinder than Draco had ever seen at Hogwarts.

"Severus, back so soon? To what do I-"

"Let me be brief, Narcissa. I heard of the task the Dark Lord has put upon Malfoy."

His mother paused in surprise. "I see. Well, what can we do?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Nothing." he replied. "There is nothing he can do but accept this task. You know what'll happen if he refuses."

His mother fell silent, and Draco felt his stomach churn. It was common knowledge that those who rebelled against the Dark Lord ended up as names on a long list of those taken by the Killing Curse.

She continued. "But there must be something. Please."

Snape paced across the room, pausing to look up at Lucius. "I can assist Malfoy and keep him safe during the school year. I'll keep an eye on him and, should he fail his task, complete it myself." He turned towards Draco, as if daring him to protest. But his pride had left him, leaving only desperation. Everything was so horribly wrong, and it made him sick just thinking about it.

"The Dark Lord doesn't expect you to succeed. He's attempting to get rid of you as revenge towards Lucius. Even if you did refuse, he'd just pass on the job to someone else. It's inevitable, so accept the task, and I will do all that I can to protect you."

"Would you swear this upon an Unbreakable Vow?" his mother asked sharply.

Snape's eyes widened slightly. He seemed to weigh the challenge she gave him. Finally, he closed his eyes and nodded.

Draco's mother let out a sigh. "Thank you, Severus." She paused to dab a tissue to her eyes. "I'll ask my sister to cast the Vow. She should be back tomorrow."

Draco swallowed thickly, trying to keep his breathing even. The air felt thick and heavy, and his throat was tight with growing panic. He needed to be alone. "Professor, thank you. Mother, I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight dear." she said with a final squeeze around his arm.

Draco stepped back into his room, noticing for the first time how dreary it had become over the summer. In fact, the whole Manor had. It no longer felt like home, and the thought scared Draco.

He began to pace around his room, muttering angrily to himself. "Stupid. I was so _stupid._ It was foolish to think I'd be able to avoid this. _Damn it."_ He kicked at his wall, feeling like the world was caving in around him.

He knew what was inevitably going to happen. He'd either fail his mission just like his father, or he'd somehow succeed and become a Death Eater, also just like his father. There was a higher chance, however, of him being killed one way or another.

Draco's hands turned clammy, and he was filled with anger and resentment towards Lucius. Both feelings were familiar, and he felt a strange comfort in them as everything around him spiraled out of his control.

Throughout this, he held onto the thought of Harry. The one person who understood him like no one else, who was brave and did what was right and _loved_ Draco. And now Draco was supposed to kill the man that Harry looked up to most.

What Draco really wanted to do was just say damn it all and finally join in his boyfriend's fight against the Dark Lord. But he knew he couldn't. Lord Voldemort still had his parents within his grasp, and Draco knew he would murder them without hesitation if it served him to.

He kicked his wall again. " _Fuck!_ "

Draco slid down to floor. He couldn't get Harry involved, it would be too dangerous. If the Death Eaters found that they had a direct path through Draco to the boy who lived, they'd stop at nothing to take advantage of it. Draco knew he'd be closely watched throughout the school year to ensure his mission's success. He also knew the situation would be made worse if his boyfriend found out about it. With a sinking feeling in his gut, he realized that there would be no way he and Harry could stay together. Whether or not Draco would be able to kill the headmaster, or even survive the school year, he couldn't let Harry know what was happening. His chest felt tight and he struggled to breathe.

A thought suddenly occurred to Draco, a way to ensure Harry wouldn't get involved. His heart clenched, and he immediately tried to throw away the idea, but it persisted. He put his face in his hands as his mind ran ahead of him, planning everything out.

Draco stood up in agitation. _It would work. Better than anything else, in fact._ he admitted, even as he could feel his heart split into pieces. _It could be done as early as tomorrow_ . Draco tried to feel assured in his plan, but all he could feel was the creeping sensation of cement being poured into his chest again, terror and self loathing seizing his mind and body.

 

* * *

 

Draco woke up late into the day after a nearly sleepless night. He had laid awake until early morning, his mind refusing to quiet down as though in punishment. He now found that two hours of sleep hadn't done much good.

After he dressed, Draco tucked his wand into his summer cloak and dragged himself down to a late breakfast. He found that the Manor was still empty except for him, his mother, and the house elves. He felt a strange mixture of relief and paranoia at the lack of Death Eaters walking around the house.

He joined his mother at the table in the garden. They sat in the sun and remained silent until a large quiche was brought out by a house elf.

"Bellatrix and I will be meeting Severus in two hours. They've both agreed to take part in the Unbreakable Vow." his mother said quietly, as though trying to not disturb the peace.

Draco nodded, lost in his thoughts.

She took his hand. "It's going to be okay dear. We will find a way to get through this. I trust Severus. He'll help you. I'm just sorry your father isn't here."

"He's the one who got us into this mess." Draco growled. But he held onto his mother's hand to show he wasn't angry at her.

She sighed, unable to answer. "It'll be okay. We'll find a way."

When they finished their plates, the house elves came and cleared the table. His mother stood up to walk back inside, but Draco caught her sleeve and stopped her. He found himself unable to look up at her.

"There's something I need to do, someone I need to see before I accept this. They're... it's important to me."

She took his hand between both of hers, asking him to meet her eyes without any words. Draco stared at their hands before complying. He looked at her face, beautiful and wizened with age. Her eyes told Draco that she understood, and he felt as though some time over the past year and a half, she had realized more than she let on.

She smiled at him. "This war _will_ end Draco. It's been twenty six years, but it will end. In the meantime, we must stay true to ourselves."

Draco felt his eyes tear up, and he squeezed her hands in thanks before she left. He sipped the last of his tea, and looked at his watch. He would have to go now, or it would be too dark to see by the time he got there. He took a deep breath, tapped the watch, and walked across the garden to the broom shed.


	7. Shadow

Draco was running down a dark hall. The only source of light was a strange teal mist, curling at his feet. He felt anxious, as though something was chasing him, but he didn't dare stop to see what. He continued running to the end of the hall, where a door led up a spiraling staircase. He ran up, desperately trying to get rid of whatever was following him.

The staircase opened up to a room without a ceiling. Stars glistened in the sky, but Draco didn't see them, too busy looking for someone.

He called out into the darkness. At the other side of the room, he saw a figure stand up. He called out again, and the figure turned towards him.

It was Harry. Draco felt relief rush through him, and he took his boyfriend in his arms. He felt safe, as though the thing chasing him couldn't hurt him now that he was with Harry. But the boy in his arms was still. Draco stepped back to ask what was wrong, but was stopped by what he saw.

Harry looked scared of Draco, filled with anguish and hatred. Draco watched as the other scrambled back and disappeared into the darkness.

Draco yelled out again, more desperately this time. But Harry was gone. He walked towards the end of the room and saw that beyond the ledge was a deep chasm.

He heard his name, and spun around. It was Dumbledore, begging for his life. Draco clapped his hands over his ears, not wanting to hear the other's pleading cries. He slowly stepped backwards, and tripped over the ledge. His stomach lurched as he began to fall.

Just in time, his hand was caught by someone. Looking up, he saw Harry again. But before Draco could feel relieved, he realized that his boyfriend's beautiful green eyes were replaced with gleaming red ones, slit like a snake's. Parseltongue filled his ears as Harry grinned maliciously, and let go of Draco, sending him down the chasm. He screamed as the darkness swallowed him up.

Draco sat up, eyes wide open and head spinning. He felt cold sweat on his brow and struggled to figure out where he was. With sudden clarity, he realized that he had woken from a dream. Draco tried to take deep breathes to calm himself. The pressure in his head went away, and he could think clearly again.

He felt immense warmth at his side, and looked down to see Harry, fast asleep without a care in the world. Draco relaxed and reached a hand up to play with the other's curly locks of hair. He glanced towards the window, noting the early dawn light.

Draco wanted nothing more than to pull the covers back over him and curl up with his boyfriend for another few hours. He shook his head, and reminded himself that this wasn't why he was here. He needed to keep in mind what he had to do.

Draco looked back at Harry, lightly brushing his cheek. He was careful not to wake the other up, but found that he couldn't help but stall for time. He took in the peaceful face next to him and thought about the way Harry crinkled his nose up when his glasses were slipping. He thought about the way that Harry held his hand, firm and reassuring. He thought about the way that Harry looked at him with so much love - where it all came from, Draco didn't know, but it was magnificent.

Draco stopped as he felt his throat tighten and his eyes burn. _Oh Harry, I'm such a mess. What am I going to do without you?_

He finally dragged himself out of bed and quietly changed back into his clothes. Looking around the room, he saw the photograph of him and Harry, playing in the snow in some Muggle park. Draco smiled as he picked it up from the bedside table. In the drawer, he found all of Harry's letters from last summer.

 _It all feels like such a long time ago._ he thought as he flipped through the papers, surprised to see the stack had grown. It seemed that Harry had added the letters that Draco had written to him. It was now a complete set.

He started to tremble as he looked back at Harry. He chided himself at the reaction.

_Pull it together Draco. You have to do this. You just have to. He'll be in danger if you don't._

Draco pulled his wand out from his sleeve, and pointed it at Harry, taking a quavering breath as his heart constricted. Without a word, he began to cast the false memory charm. He focused on rewriting ever memory Harry had of him from the past year and a half. He took away everything. Every word, every glance, every kiss that happened in the safety of privacy. All that remained was the taunting and the loathing and the constant need to outdo each other.

Draco tried to regain control of his emotions, tried to stay quiet as Harry slept. But his eyes were blurry and his body was shaking and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was _scared_ . He held his hand tight against his mouth to muffle his panicked sobs as memory after memory was concealed.

When the last of the evidence had been purged, he walked up to the other one last time. Draco gently took Harry's hand in his own, and pried the Black family ring off before kneeling close.

"Please, trust me." Draco whispered as he kissed Harry's temple. "I love you."

Outside, he mounted his broom and left the Dursleys house long before the sun rose.

 

* * *

 

Draco flew through the cold misty morning, trying to force his mind into a blank state. He headed North to London, traveling high enough in the sky that Muggles wouldn't notice. He arrived by the time the sun became fully visible, and flew down over sleepy suburban neighborhoods.

He silently landed in an alley next to a tall shop that hadn't opened yet. He walked down the empty road, holding his broom and looking for the address he had sent countless letters to last summer. As he found it, Draco looked up at the small house, about as Muggle as they came.

 _Should I knock on the door? Or go through the back?_ He looked around at all the houses and closed curtains. _I suppose I could fly up to a window and hope it's the right room._ Draco sighed, wishing he knew more about Muggle customs. He inspected the front of the house and decided the most direct approach was always the best option.

Two minutes later, Draco tumbled and crashed onto the floor in front of the kitchen sink. A plate rolled down the hall and broke as it hit the wall. He cringed at the loud noise.

The back window was absolutely _not_ the way to go.

Still sprawled out on the floor, he heard footsteps stomp down the stairs as he tried to pull his broom inside.

"Who's there?" a man's voice demanded. Draco belatedly hoped he didn't go in the wrong house.

He quickly tried to stand up before he made a fool of himself. He failed miserably as he tripped over the hem of his cloak and slammed into a nearby table, broom still sticking out the window. "Um, hello." he started out, unsure of what to do. "Is Hermione Granger here?"

The man finally came through the door, wearing a navy bathrobe and slippers in the shape of cartoonish teeth. He was holding a strange red metal cylinder with a black tube at the end. Draco didn't know what it was, but the man held it threateningly. Upon inspection, the man did indeed look like Hermione, with the same bushy hair and intelligent eyes. _Must be at the right house then._ Draco thought.

"And what business do you have with her?" the man asked, holding his ground.

Draco faltered at the question and blinked stupidly, at a loss for words. How could he possibly begin to explain?

Before he started babbling, he was saved by Hermione storming into the kitchen with her wand out. She was wearing lavender pyjamas and her hair stuck up all around in a curly mess, making her look wild.

"Draco? What are you doing here?" she asked, completely shocked. She lowered her wand and turned towards the man. "Dad, put the fire extinguisher away."

The man, Mr. Granger, grumbled and left the kitchen. Draco finally managed to maneuver his broom inside and set it down on the tiled floor.

Hermione stood by the door with her arms crossed. "Well?"

Draco met her eyes, still unsure of how to start. On his ride here, he hadn't thought about what to say, too focused on leaving Little Whinging as soon as possible. His brain was still having trouble catching up.

"I need your help Hermione." he said, looking down.

"Have you talked to Harry yet?" she asked gently, uncrossing her arms.

"Well, yes. I mean, I just came from his house, but..."

"Draco, what's wrong?" Hermione took a few steps towards him.

He looked at her, thinking about the past year since they'd become friends. Draco trusted her just as much as Harry. He would even trust her with his life, and he knew that if anyone could help him, it would be her. He took a deep breath before answering.

"The Dark Lord came to the Manor two days ago. Said I could redeem my father if I completed a task for him. I haven't said yes yet, but Snape and my mother both agree that I don't have a choice." His voice was small, and he tried to clear his throat.

"Why? What would happen if you said no?"

Draco attempted a weak laugh. "What do you think?"

Hermione averted her eyes with understanding. "Here, take a seat. I'll put the kettle on." She got out two blue mugs and started making tea as Draco sat down. "What's the task?" she asked nervously, as if not really wanting an answer.

Draco had hoped she wouldn't ask. His stomach twisted in fear and guilt, and he clutched to the table as he stared at the table without seeing.

"I need to- There's someone I have to- _Damn it_ ." He groaned and covered his face with his hands before continuing in a whisper. "I've never seen anyone _die_ before Hermione. Just imagining it terrifies me."

There was a long pause, long enough that Draco began to wonder if he had scared her, before Hermione responded. "What do you need me to do?"

Draco breathed in shakily and replied hollowly, trying to keep his emotions at bay. "Last night, I went to see Harry. To say goodbye. I have some papers I need you to keep safe. You _must_ keep them a secret." He reached into the inside pocket of his cloak and took out the letters and photo.

Hermione set the mugs down on the table and took the stack with a quick glance. When she realized what they were, she looked away shyly.

"Where will you be?"

"I'll still be at school, under the close watch of Death Eaters spies. They aren't interested in targeting Harry at the moment, but it would be dangerous if they found out Harry and I were together. They'd use me to get to him. I'm not going to let that happen."

"Draco, what did you do?" Hermione asked with worry seeping into her voice.

He looked down, trying to still his shaking hands. He fiddled with the Black family ring that was once again on his finger. "I cast a false memory charm on him." he replied in a croak. "He won't remember anything about me from the past two years."

Hermione gasped. "Is it reversible?"

His stomach churned. "Yes, in theory. It said so in the book I found it in."

"You mean you're not sure? Draco, what if something happens and he forgets forever? What were you thinking?"

"Hermione. As long as he's safe, I don't care. If I die, it'd probably be better in the end if he forgets anyways." he said with a dark laugh.

She looked as though she wanted to argue, but thankfully didn't. "I'm sorry. I know you're doing this because you care about him. I just... I'm worried."

Draco leaned back in his chair and rested his hands on his face before closing his eyes again. "Hah. I should have known it wouldn't work out. The _one_ good thing in my whole damned life." He groaned. "Harry and I always hoped that after the war, we'd be able to stop keeping so many secrets. I even told him I'd take him to France next year. What was I _thinking_? I don't even know if I'll live that long. _Fuck._ " he hit the table with his fist. Their mugs rattled and sloshed. He took in a sharp breath. "I'm sorry Hermione, I-"

He was interrupted by arms wrapping him into a fierce hug. Hermione stayed silent, simply offering what Draco hadn't realized he needed.

Draco made an effort to stop the tears he could feel approaching. _It wouldn't do to cry in front of Hermione._ he scolded before taking deep breaths to calm down.

By the time Hermione pulled back, Draco had settled.

"So I'm guessing that you'll want me to keep an eye on Harry. Keep him out of trouble and the like." she said with a small smile.

Draco snorted. "Or at least try your best to. We both know he has a penchant for mayhem."

She grinned affectionately at the thought of her best friend. Then she looked away with a doleful expression. "And I'm guessing that you'll have to change Ron's memories too."

He looked down and nodded.

Hermione blew out a big breath. "Okay. Anything else?"

Draco looked back up at the witch, stunned by how easily she accepted him. She didn't judge him or get angry. She simply returned Draco's trust and offered her help. Draco swelled with gratitude to have such a friend, and he was reminded of how much Harry had changed his life.

"No, you've already done so much."

"Alright. Then I'll owl Ron to tell him to come over for lunch. As for now, come meet my parents. They've been wanting to finally see you in person."

Draco stared at her before breaking out into a smile. "Thank you Hermione."

 

* * *

 

Draco returned to Malfoy Manor by late afternoon. As he walked down the wide driveway, he pulled his facade back into place. By the time he approached the front door, his expression was cold and his mind was blank.

He found his mother sitting in the parlor, accompanied by Aunt Bellatrix. His mother looked up at the sound of his footsteps and greeted him with a smile.

"Darling, you're back. Did you take care of whatever it was you needed to do?"

"Yes, mother." he replied, voice confident and movements strong. "Tell the Dark Lord that I would be honored to be at his service."


	8. Shadow

It was the first day of term. Draco and his mother stood in the middle of the crowded platform, saying goodbye among hundreds of other families. The Hogwarts Express blew it's whistle to signal it would be departing soon.

"And remember that you can always contact me if you need help."

"Mother. I'll be fine." he reassured, squeezing her hands again.

"I know dear. You're my son, I can't help but worry about you." she replied with a tight smile.

Draco gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll owl you once I get settled."

She waved goodbye as he stepped onto the train with one last glance. The whistle blew again, and the train began to trudge away from the platform.

Draco walked down the corridor, looking into the compartments in search of his friends, while trying to avoid a certain trio of Gryffindors. He sighed in relief when he saw Pansy pop her head out of the last compartment.

"Draco!" she called, smiling brightly as she stepped out to hug him. His childhood friend was one of the few people allowed the privilege, though Draco couldn't remember why, as Pansy always put her effort to crush his ribs in.

"Pansy," he wheezed. "How was your holiday?"

"Oh, I was just telling them. Here, come inside." she said as she pulled him inside the compartment. "I had a feeling you'd ditch the prefects' carriage. Figured I'd rather spend time catching up with you than dealing with the new ones."

Draco stepped in to see Crabbe and Goyle, who had just finished a round of Exploding Snap.

"Malfoy." They nodded towards him in greeting.

"Where's Zabini?" he asked, expecting the other Slytherin to be here already.

Crabbe answered, "Oh, you're going to love this. New potions teacher, Professor Slurggen or something, is holding a meeting. He seems to be picking out students he favors." He suddenly looked contemplative, and Draco worried that Crabbe would hurt himself with the effort. "Zabini probably got invited because mother is famous."

"Slughorn." Draco corrected with a roll of his eyes as he sat down with Pansy. "The term hasn't even started yet and he's already picking favorites?"

"Yeah. The old man seems pretty gullible though. Maybe his class will be easier than Professor Snape's." Goyle added hopefully, even though he hadn't scored high enough on his OWL to continue taking Potions classes.

Pansy leaned against Draco's shoulder. "I had heard that Professor Snape finally got the position as the Dark Arts teacher. Maybe now he won't be so grumpy all the time." she snickered.

Draco scoffed. "I doubt it. He didn't seem any less miserable when I saw him during the summer."

He was still a little shocked that Snape had gone through with the Unbreakable Vow. Draco had never felt very close with the professor, even though his father seemed to be friends with him. He had overhead Bellatrix calling him a liar on more than one occasion. Draco wondered again if Snape would actually be able to help him. His stomach twisted, as it now often did, at the thought of what the year would bring him.

Pansy, unaware of his turn of thoughts, had started talking all about her summer. Apparently she had gone traveling across Europe with her family, living with relatives here and there. She talked about all the shopping she had done, and Draco found himself tuning her out when she started on the topic of fashion. Crabbe gave up on pretending to listen soon after, and took out a comic.

Draco shifted and lied his head on her lap, and Pansy didn't look twice at the action, a mark of their long friendship.

Goyle eventually picked up the conversation and complained about the classes he wouldn't be able to take this year after failing his OWLs. "I probably would've done better if you had helped me more, Malfoy." he grumbled.

Pansy looked down at him hopefully. "Do you think you'll be able to spend more time with us this year? Last year we hardly ever saw you outside of class."

Draco felt his heart clench guiltily. Last year he had spent almost all of his free time with Harry. He had given his friends a wide variety of excuses: from studying, to extra Quidditch practice, even detention. Now however...

"Ah, yes, my schedule should be clearer. I won't be playing on the Quidditch team, for one thing." he tried to say indifferently.

Draco winced as his friends gasped all at once.

"What? You never told us!" Goyle whined.

"Why won't you be on the team? Who's supposed to be seeker?!" Crabbe demanded.

Draco hesitated, unsure of how much he should tell them. Quite frankly, he had far more pressing matters to worry about than Quidditch this year. He expected that Death Eaters, including Professor Snape, would be wanting news of his progress and demanding results as soon as possible.

There was also the fact that Harry would no doubt be on the Gryffindor team. He didn't think he'd be able to see the other on the field without losing himself to the passionate way Harry always played. Draco felt misery wash over him at the thought of Harry, and tried to scatter memories of them kissing behind the locker rooms after matches.

He was luckily saved from having to answer by Zabini walking in.

"Hullo everyone. Have a nice summer?"

He went to shut the door behind him, but was surprised as it jammed halfway open. Zabini had a brief fight with it, in which he repeatedly tried to slam the door shut without success. With a hard tug, Zabini lost his balance, and fell back onto Goyle. The two growled at each other while Draco tried to smother his laughter. The door swung shut a moment later.

As everyone settled back down, Draco looked up towards the window. Suddenly, he saw something white whip across his vision. He narrowed his eyes, but it was gone, and he was left wondering if it had just been his imagination. Draco looked back to his friends.

"So, Zabini, what did Slughorn want?" he asked, trying to move away from the previous topic.

Zabini scoffed as he found a seat. “Just trying to make up to well-connected people. Not that he managed to find many.”

"Hmm. I assume Potter was there?" Draco asked, trying to sound disinterested.

Pansy giggled, meaning he had probably failed. "Why are you so interested in him? Anytime he's mentioned you _always_ have something to say."

He grunted in response, not bothering to argue. Pansy had been asking him the same question since second year, and he had long since given up trying to dissuade her. The other Slytherin boys snickered at Draco's docile reaction. They often joked about how much Pansy got away with when it came to Draco. No one else would dare imply anything about his supposed arch-rival. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Alright, shut it."

Zabini looked towards the compartment window, as though to check for anyone in the vicinity. He suddenly leaned in closer and spoke in a solemn tone of voice. "Oi, have you or Crabbe heard anything from your fathers? Nott got a letter right as he was boarding the train. He seemed pretty shaken up by it."

The compartment turned quiet, the others silent as they waited for an answer. Draco's mind raced, trying to think of a response they'd expect from him.

His father had in fact written, but it was only to his mother, Draco left completely ignored. He figured his father was angry that he hadn't been at the Department of Mysteries that night to fight alongside him. Draco, however, had the feeling that once Lucius knew what he'd agreed to do for the Dark Lord, the man would be treating him very differently.

Crabbe answered first. "Yeah, I've gotten a few letters. They made my mum cry." He looked down and fiddled with his hands. "She wants me to avenge him once I turn of age."

Everyone looked away uncomfortably. Draco thought about his task. He knew his friends would find out about it from their parents sooner or later. Draco decided he'd rather they hear it from him first. It would also be for the best if they weren't following him around asking questions.

Draco sat up from Pansy's lap to look at his friends. "Well, I've been handed the opportunity to take revenge myself." he tried to say with pride as he twirled his hand in the air.

"Do you mean- _Him?_ " Goyle whispered in awe.

Draco shrugged. "I've been given a task to prove my worth. This time next year, I might not be wasting my time at Hogwarts."

Zabini leaned forwards with a disbelieving expression. "You really think _you’ll_ be able to do something for him? Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified yet?”

He leveled the other Slytherin with a glare. "Maybe he doesn’t care if I’m qualified. Maybe the job he wants me to do isn’t something that you need to be qualified for." He leaned back in his seat to emanate confidence. "After all, in the end it's all about devotion.”

The compartment went silent again. Draco's insides twisted as he thought about what he had said. It held a horrifying amount of truth. As his friends looked at him in admiration, Draco tried not to think about how differently Harry or Ron would've reacted to the news.

Draco looked out the window and tried for a pleased smirk to cover up how ill he felt. "I can see Hogwarts. We’d better get our robes on."

Pansy was the first to get up. "I'll be in the next compartment." she said, carrying her luggage behind her.

Goyle stood up and reached above Draco for his trunk. As he swung it down from the luggage rack, it made a big thwacking sound. Draco heard a small gasp from the rack, and he frowned up towards where it had come from.

With a sense of growing panic, he realized that someone must have snuck into their compartment to listen in on them. The unwelcome visitor probably used a disillusionment charm and walked right in with Zabini. Draco quickly looked away, not wanting to alert anyone. He instead busied himself with his robes as the train finally started to slow down to a stop.

The train blew its whistle, and all the compartment doors swung open. As his friends began to leave, Draco lingered behind. Pansy came over, wearing her newly fitted uniform.

"Let's go Draco, I'm starving."

"You go on. I just want to check something."

Pansy looked at him questioningly, but complied, following the rest of the students pouring out of the train.

Draco looked down the corridor both ways, ensuring that it was empty. He let down all the blinds and took out his trunk. He pretended to open it with caution, hoping to trick the unexpected guest and catch them by surprise.

He subtly drew his wand from his sleeve and strained his ears for any sound. He counted three beats of silence before moving to action. In one fluid motion, he stood up and turned towards the luggage rack.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Draco grabbed onto the invisible figure and yanked down hard.

In the next moment, none other than Harry- _fucking_ -Potter tumbled onto the floor, invisibility cloak sprawled onto a nearby seat.

Draco gaped at him in utter shock. Harry stared back unblinkingly.

"Why am I even surprised?" Draco drawled. Harry, predictably, remained silent, with his arms seemingly plastered straight down his sides.

Draco pinched his brow in exasperation and took a deep breath. "Finite Incantatem." Harry scrambled for his wand and pointed it at him, clearly expecting a fight. Draco looked down at him with an unimpressed glare. "Potter, _what_ are you doing here?"

Harry blinked in surprise at the lack of hexes he was receiving. Then he looked sheepish, as though trying to find some excuse. Draco groaned and put his head in his hand. "Look, I don't even care. Just get out." He pointed towards the door.

Harry, however, seemed to find his courage and got up to stand his ground. Draco felt annoyance bubble up inside him at the sight of Harry's _I'm-about-to-lecture-you_ face.

"Malfoy, what were you talking about? I know you're up to something." He took a step towards Draco and spoke quietly. "What do you mean _He's_ given you a task?"

Draco narrowed his eyes in irritation and pointed his wand at Harry. "You don't know what you're talking about. Get out."

" _No_. Answer me Malfoy." Harry replied stubbornly.

Draco felt a sudden surge of anger hit him. He felt as though the years had melted away, leaving them both first years again, with fighting as their only form of communication.

He growled, sparks unintentionally coming out of his wand. "Leave me alone!"

"No! Tell me, dammit! Can't you see I want to _help_ you?!"

" _Don't_ act like you _care_!" Draco bellowed with fury.

Harry went quiet and Draco felt himself panting for air, emotion pumping through his veins. His mind belatedly caught up with what he said, and realization made his heart clench painfully.

 _He doesn't care. Not anymore. We're right back to where we started_. Draco dropped his wand to his side and felt himself go slack with remorse.

"Malfoy?" Harry said tentatively, a bruise rapidly forming on his cheek from the fall.

Draco flinched at the sound of his last name from those lips. _There's no turning back. The only way to fix this- fix us- is to finish what I started._ He turned away from Harry, the only person who had mattered to him in a very long time.

"Please. I'm not your enemy. Just go." he said. He winced at his own words, desperately hoping they were true.

Harry was completely stunned. In his shock, he did as Draco said and left without another word.

Draco sat down heavily as he listened to the other's footsteps pound down the corridor. He buried his face into his hands, and tried to hold down his emotions as best as he could.

" _Fuck_."

* * *

 

Draco walked swiftly down the torch-lit hall, trying to smooth over his appearance. He ran a hand through his hair and took deep breaths, begging his legs to stop shaking. As he approached the massive wooden doors leading to the Great Hall, he paused to put on a cool expression. He pushed the door open slowly and peeked inside.

The high ceiling shown with stars and tables of students cheered loudly for the first years as they were Sorted. Draco slipped in without being noticed, and hurried to the Slytherin table. He saw Pansy wave to him from her usual seat towards the middle. He sat down in the seat across from her with an appreciative nod.

"Thanks for saving my seat, Pansy."

She twisted a lock of hair around her finger and grinned cheekily. "Well, of course. Who else would I copy homework off of?"

Draco smiled thinly and looked around for the newly declared Slytherin students. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Pansy look at him and frown.

"Say, Draco. Are you feeling well? You look a bit peaky." She leaned in to talk quietly. "Does it have to do with why you stayed behind in the train compartment?"

"Huh? Oh, no. It's nothing" He tried to brush her off. But instead of letting it go like he hoped she would, Pansy just raised an eyebrow.

"Does it have to do with," She narrowed her eyes, obviously trying to hint at something. "You know..."

Draco stared at her blankly. "You-know-who?" he whispered hesitantly.

Pansy looked at him incredulously. "What? No." She jerked her head over her shoulder. " _Him._ "

His eyes widened in understanding before he leveled her with a deadpan expression."Don't be ridiculous Pansy."

"Hey, don't give me that. I'm serious. Did anything happen between you two on the train? He walked in late too you know." She sat back and crossed her arms.

Draco rolled his eyes, trying not to feel uncomfortable with how observant Pansy had suddenly become. "No, nothing happened. Like I said, you're being ridiculous." He pointedly looked away towards the front of the hall, showing the conversation was over.

Pansy sighed and turned her attention to the front as well.

The last first year sat down with the Hufflepuffs, and everyone began introducing themselves to new students and catching up with their friends. Professor Dumbledore stood up and the talking quickly hushed. Draco turned away, unable to look at the Headmaster. Instead, he looked across the hall, past the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. He knew exactly where Pansy had been gesturing to earlier, and it didn't take long to find three familiar faces among the Gryffindors.

Draco's insides twisted nervously as he watched Harry. Their fight a little while ago had been their second in just as many meetings. Even when they were at Diagon Alley a month ago buying school supplies, Draco and Harry couldn't help but argue. It was a harsh reminder to Draco of what this year would be. He could only hope that once everything was done with, once he could return Harry's memories, that they would somehow be able go back to what they used to be.

As Draco watched sadly, he saw Hermione turn towards him. Their eyes met, and Draco failed to cover up his expression. He looked away quickly, masking his emotions before looking back to the witch.

Hermione sent him an encouraging smile, and Draco felt like it was a little easier to breathe.

He gave a small nod before busying himself with the newly appeared feast.


	9. Shadow

"Hi, sorry I'm late. Ron wouldn't stop asking where I was going." Hermione walked across the deserted courtyard towards Draco with a smile. "He doesn't seem to believe that I have friends besides him and Harry."

"Quite alright, I was just trying to finish up my Charms essay. Can't let you stay at the top of the class forever." Draco said with a playful grin. He moved to the side of the window sill to give her room.

"Oh _really_? What's it on?"

Draco looked at her smugly. "Bewitched sleep."

"Urg, that's good. I'm doing mine on different uses of the Revulsion Jinx."

"Hmm, not bad." he shrugged as he put his quill and parchment into his bag. "So, any news?"

Since term started, the two of them met every week or so, always somewhere secluded so they wouldn't be found. Sometimes they studied together, or talked about strange things muggles do and all the things they had wanted to be when they grew up. Sometimes they didn't talk at all. Usually, though, Hermione shared stories about Harry. And as much as he appreciated the updates, they always left him with a sense of longing.

Overall, Draco had done a good job of avoiding Harry. He switched seats with Pansy in the Great Hall so as to not catch glimpses and always sat far away from the Gryffindor boy in class. Whenever Harry did approach him, Draco tried to keep it short and mean, wanting to stay away from the other as much as possible. He figured that less interaction would mean less chance of any Death Eaters taking note of their relationship, no matter how antagonistic it was.

"Honestly, Harry won't shut up about you. He's driving me mental." the witch said as she ruffled her hair. "But the charm does seem to be holding. Occasionally I mention something from last year just to make sure."

Draco tried for a sardonic smile as he pushed down his hurt at the mention of Harry's false memories. "What, is he mooning over me then?"

Hermione winced. "Well, it's not exactly the good kind of attention. He's convinced you're up to something."

He scoffed darkly. "He's not wrong then."

"Draco, I'm serious! We saw you- I mean, um-" Hermione looked down as though she had said too much.

Draco looked at her dubiously. "What?"

"Back before school, the day we sort of had fight with you and your mum at Madam Malkin's? We saw you go into Borgin and Burke's. I tried to get them to stop, but Harry insisted on following you. And, well, we listened in on your conversation, some object that needed mending, and-"

"Hermione," Draco interrupted. "I can't tell you." No one besides Borgin, Snape, and himself were to know about the Vanishing Cabinet.

She dropped her hopeful expression and sighed. "I know. I just wish I could help more."

"Please, you've done enough. I can't risk getting you involved."

"But why not? Don't you trust me?"

"Hermione, you _know_ I do." He took her hands and begged her to understand. "I gave you all those letters _because_ I trust you. But I can't ask you to do any more than that. I don't want to put you in danger."

She looked disappointed, but squeezed his hands in acceptance. "What about Parkinson and Crabbe and them? Don't they know anything about what's going on?"

"Of course." Draco laughed humorlessly. "They're _t_ _hrilled_ that I have the opportunity to be useful to the man their parents practically _worship_. They've all got their heads on backwards. Don't know right from wrong." he finished with a helpless shrug.

"And the- well, the Death Eaters. Have they been watching like you thought?" the witch asked in a small voice.

"My father's _friends_ you mean? Yes, they have good little spies throughout the school. They're already demanding to know why I haven't made any progress."

Hermione paused as she took in this information, trying to fully grasp the situation. She was probably a lot further along with this than Draco was. "Do you have a plan yet?"

"A few. All pretty pathetic."

Hermione didn't answer, and instead looked down at her lap. As brilliant as she was, she couldn't always have the answer.

Draco sighed, trying to think of a different topic. He was getting sick of the constant dread brought by the thought of his task. He had yet to tell Hermione exactly what he was expected to do, but she knew that the Death Eaters had their eyes on someone, and that they were using Draco to get closer.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, wanting to be distracted with happier thoughts.

"I heard that Potter is Quidditch team captain."

Hermione smiled and went along with the shift in conversation. "Yes! He's going to be holding tryouts soon. You can come watch if you want."

"Thank you, but it'd probably be best if I didn't."

"I know it's hard for you to see him, but you were able to start a good relationship before. It's possible to do it again."

Draco shook his head. "No. I can't do anything that could bring extra attention to him. I need to deal with my own problems first before I can even think about that. I promised that to myself when l first cast that damned charm."

Hermione smiled at him softly. "You know, I can really see why you two got on so well." She stood up and patted his shoulder. "I believe in you Draco. You'll be able to find your way back to him once this is all over."

Draco looked down at his watch and tapped the face of it, feeling a comforting wave of Harry's magic wash over him. "I hope you're right."

 

* * *

**  
**

By early October, most of the school had fallen into it's usual routine. First years had stopped stumbling around lost, and teachers had happily begun to heap large amounts of work onto their students. During his hours spent huddled over books in library, it was almost easy for Draco to ignore the ever-present sense of dread. Magical theories and potion applications whirled through his mind until late hours of the night, when he could barely keep his eyes open.

It was Tuesday morning, which meant Herbology class for any sixth year who had gotten the required OWL score to continue. Draco looked over to Zabini's pile of dismembered hemlock flowers- little white poisonous buds used for doxycide. Draco's own pile was pitiful in comparison, and he tensed his shoulders with the effort to make himself just  _focus_.

He slivered his knife halfway down another stem before his eyes treacherously jumped back to the table diagonally from his. Green eyes darted out of sight as Potter faced away from Draco, pretending as though he hadn't been caught staring  _again_. Weasley stubbornly met Draco's eyes with an accusatory glare, before following Potter's suite.

This had been going on for most of class now, and it was beginning to grate on Draco's nerves.

"Malfoy, they keep looking at us." Zabini muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"Shut up, I know already." he hissed in reply, determined to just ignore Potter and Weasley. These damned flowers weren't going to dissect themselves, after all. Draco wiped at the sweat dripping down his neck, cursing the heating charms used in Greenhouse 4.

No sooner than he returned to his assignment that he felt two pairs of eyes boring into him. Draco continued to stare steadfastly at anthers and petals.

"Class time is nearly over, everyone." Professor Sprout called out. "Deposit all your hemlock trimmings into the crate over there for next class. Once you clear up your supplies, you're free to go."

_Finally._  Draco chucked all his tools into his bin and trod to the front of the greenhouse. The sooner he left, the better. With a quick glance, he saw Potter rushing over, trying to do the same. Draco scowled and swiftly made his way back to his desk to grab his bag and  _leave_. A blast of cold air swept across his face as he walked outside.

"Malfoy!" he heard the Gryffindor boy call out. Draco couldn't tell if it was with anger or perhaps something even  _friendly_ , but he didn't stick around to find out. He stubbornly walked across the grass without a single glance back, and disappeared into the castle hurriedly.

 

* * *

**  
**

"Mr. Malfoy, I'd like to have a word with you." Draco stopped as he moved to leave his seat.

A few people snickered at him as they left the classroom, ready to go to their common rooms before dinner. He glared at them with seemingly no effect. "Yes, Professor McGonagall?"

She walked to his seat with a disapproving expression. "I was hoping you could tell me why you haven't turned in your Transfiguration homework. That's the second time this week." she asked sternly.

Draco shrugged without answering, and saw the way Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes at the action.

"I warned you last time that I am very strict on homework assignments. It seems that I'll need to give you detention to get my message across." She paced to her desk and brought out a quill and parchment. "This Saturday, Mr. Malfoy. Come to my office at noon."

"But Professor, that's a Hogsmeade visit day." he complained.

"Why yes it is. Hopefully you'll learn to finish your work from now on." the professor said with a wave towards the door. Draco sighed as he got up and watched as she wrote a message to Filch about the punishment. It was sent off with a flick of her wand by the time he reached the door.

Draco began trudging down the hall, cursing his situation. Everyone knew that Professor McGonagall was especially strict with him, even though he was usually one of the best students. He had received more detention from her than any other teacher. It was easy to see that she disapproved of pureblooded arrogance, and Draco was practically the poster boy for cold Slytherin values.

He rubbed his temples as he walked. With all the stress brought by his task and being monitored, Draco found himself increasingly forgetful. He left his books in his dormitory and took wrong turns in the castle. Unfinished homework assignments were just the latest of problems he'd been having. _And now I have detention._ Brilliant. He sighed and hitched his book bag higher onto his shoulder.

A single thought, however, stopped Draco in his tracks. Suddenly, detention with the transfiguration professor seemed less like a mishap and more like an opportunity. This could be the chance he needed to set his plan into motion.

He made his way swiftly down to the dungeons, barely noticing the setting sun as he mapped his idea out. In the Slytherin common room, Pansy's greeting went ignored as he continued into the dormitory. He set down his books and dragged his trunk out from under his bed.

Draco got out his coin pouch and fished around for two galleons. He thought about the fake coins Hermione had made last year for Dumbledore's Army. It seemed simple enough to do, and he already knew that they got around Hogwarts' barriers spells. He cast a Protean Charm on each of the coins and set them aside.

Then he nearly emptied his trunk in his search of a flat oval box. Draco found it hidden at the bottom, and tore off the wrapping. He lifted the lid gingerly and stared at the glittering opal necklace his Aunt Bellatrix had given him. The dim light from the torches flickered, and the gems looked as though they were moving.

He still remembered the way she had grabbed his hand when he tried to get a closer look. _'It only takes a single touch, Draco. So be absolutely sure you know what you're doing when you use it. If the wrong person opens the box, well, there would be- let's say- difficulties.'_

Bellatrix's eyes sparkled with excitement as she shared in detail how she'd use the necklace, given the chance. Draco had resisted the urge to shudder at the time, but couldn't help it now as he held the box in his hands. The dark magic seemed to squirm in the gems, as though trying to escape.

He wrapped up the box with a galleon and tucked it into his robes, leaving the dormitory as quickly as he had entered.

"Draco? Where are you going?" Pansy called from a black leather couch with a fashion magazine on her lap. The box suddenly felt immensely heavy.

"I just, uh. Needed to go to the library. I've haven't finished my potions essay for Slughorn yet." Draco's hands turned clammy at the hastily thought up lie.

Pansy raised an eyebrow. "Honestly Draco, I'm sure you'll get the best score anyways. Just don't be late for dinner." she said as she went back to her magazine.

He swung the door open and left as fast as he could. If he didn't leave now, he wouldn't be back in time. Draco's breath hitched at the thought of what a single absence could lead to- suspicion, accusations- and he rushed down the empty hall.

He finally stopped by a statue of an old witch, and slipped in behind it. This was his last chance to turn back. So many things could go wrong with the plan. And if it did succeed, what then?

Draco thought about his mother, alone at the Manor.

He didn't have a choice, he had to act soon.

Only last week, he had been dragged aside to an unused classroom by Snape. The Dark Arts professor had demanded to know what he had done so far. Draco had stumbled through, trying to convince the man to give him more time.

_'Sir, once I work out how to fix the Vanishing Cabinet, I-'_

_'No. Inviting a group of well-known Death Eaters into the school is hardly discreet.'_ Snape had sneered in a way Draco had never quite managed. _'The cabinet should only be used as an absolute last resort.'_

Since then, he had come up with many ideas, ranging from ridiculous to outright impossible. The necklace had seemed like the best plan by far. And now Professor McGonagall had given him the perfect opportunity to cover up any tracks.

Draco determinedly tapped his wand onto the statue, and waited as the wall behind him began to move. A stone slide revealed itself, and Draco went down into the darkness.

He skidded against the stone, careful to keep his hands in his robes. Cold wind rushed against him as he was turned left and right. Finally, he fell with a dull thump onto loose dirt, and began making his way down the long path ahead of him. It smelled of damp earth, and Draco was reminded of all the times Harry had led him here. They had used the secret tunnel to sneak into Hogsmeade more times than he could count.

The last time had been in the middle of the night. Draco vividly remembered the chilly wind whipping through their robes, and the way they leaned close together for warmth in the moonlight. They had spent the night dodging adults and relishing in their freedom. It was long before the war became a reality for them, when they still smiled without any shadow of pain. Their biggest worries had been passing exams and getting to discover their newfound relationship.

Draco's heart clenched at the memories as he made his way up the steps to Honeydukes. Those times were long behind them. As much as he tried to deny it, he knew that things could never be the same. Harry wouldn't forgive him, and Draco would understand. All he could hope for was that Harry would be safe, and would one day defeat the Dark Lord. Until then, Draco would keep his mother safe and do as much as he could to disrupt the Death Eaters.

He snuck out of the cellar door, and silently made his way out the candy shop into the dark and quiet village. He pulled his hood down over his face and slipped down alleys to the bustling Three Broomsticks Pub.

Draco's heart started beating painfully fast as he made his way to the back door. With every step, he became less and less confident as the reality of what he was about to do surfaced. He knocked on the door hesitantly, and waited for someone to open it.

His palms went clammy as the door swung open to reveal Madam Rosmerta. She looked down at him in surprise.

"Draco Malfoy, is it? Why are you up and about outside the castle?" she asked with a smile. Draco felt a split second of doubt before he took out his wand.

" _Imperio._ "

He watched with sickening fascination as Madam Rosmerta's smile went slack and her eyes glazed over. She swayed against the doorframe and looked as though she lost all control of thought. Draco felt his stomach churn at the thrilling sense of power that ran through him.

He took a moment to realize that this was his first act of crime. It was his first step towards doing the Dark Lord's bidding. Draco felt guilt consume him as he dragged the bar keeper down the steps into the alley, trying to push down a surge of crazed hunger.

He grabbed the galleon from his robes and thrust it into her hand. "Take this, I'll be using it to tell you when I need things done." Madam Rosmerta nodded her head dreamily, and Draco felt as though he'd be sick.

"Here's a package. _Don't open it._ During the Hogsmeade visit this Saturday, give it to the first Hogwarts student you meet in the girls' bathroom. Use the Imperius Curse on her and make her give it to Headmaster Dumbledore. Do you understand?"

Draco was shaking all over. Madam Rosmerta nodded again and took the package. He pulled the hood down his face again, and ran off as quickly as he could. He watched as the door to the pub swung shut without anyone else noticing. Draco rushed down the dark alleys again, staggering against the walls. His legs suddenly lost strength, and he slid to the ground.

He couldn't forget the power he had over her. It was the first time in a long time he felt in control. Draco felt himself craving it as much as he loathed it. His head ached and his throat burned at the guilt of enjoying such a horrible thing. He clutched onto his robes, trying to make the world stop spinning.

In just a few days, the headmaster would be dead, and it would be his fault. Lord Voldemort would praise him and his mother would be saved. Father would be so damn proud of him for his loyalty. And his friends would be in awe at his servitude to the Dark Lord.

Yet Draco was terrified.

He clung to his head in the dark and cold alley, breathing through his nose and begging his stomach to still.

_Harry. Help me._


	10. Shadow

Draco sat against the towering quidditch stands, book lying in his lap forgotten. The field was empty, and the sky was growing darker by the minute, thick with clouds that promised a storm.

"Draco! How are you?"

He was startled out of his deep thinking, and looked up to see a familiar Gryffindor witch.

"Oh, hello Hermione." he said without thinking, and returned to looking across the grass hills.

Hermione sat down and looked over him. "What've you got there?" she asked, gesturing to the book.

"Hmm? Oh just, uh..." He picked up the book and turned it over. "History of...Trolls."

"Ah. Very, er- interesting."

He sighed and tossed the book into his bag. "How'd you know where I was?"

Hermione smiled gently at that. "I know most of your hiding spots Draco. It was just a matter of which one."

"I see."

They sat in silence and Draco went back to his thoughts. He heard Hermione take a deep breath, and turned to face her. She looked deeply worried, and Draco's stomach churned at the thought of what she was no doubt going to ask. He knew she'd figure it out, she was too bright not too. Draco looked away as he waited in apprehension.

"Say, did you hear about Katie Bell? The girl in Gryffindor?"

"Yes, I did." he replied shortly.

"Do you know anything about it? I mean-"

"Hermione," Draco interrupted, begging her to let it go.

"Oh of course I don't think it was you, Draco! I just wondered if you had heard anything from the, well..." She trailed off hesitantly.

The silence stretched uncomfortably, and Draco felt a solid pit growing inside him. He felt torn between coldly shrugging her off and finally _telling_ someone about everything that had been eating at him all week. Before he was able to decide, Hermione continued in a quiet voice.

"Harry thinks it was you, you know? So does Ron." She tried to put in a disbelieving laugh, but it sounded more like a sob. "Still, I know it wasn't. I couldn't be you. And- and Professor McGonagall said you were in detention at the time, so it just couldn't have..."

"What makes you so sure?" he demanded sharply, tired of being told what he was and wasn't capable of doing.

Hermione gasped at the coldness in his voice. She took on a crestfallen expression that showed deep disappointment.

It was a face he hadn't seen from her in years.

Draco felt his anger melt. The fears in the corners of his mind took over, and he found himself spilling out his guilt.

"I'm sorry." he started carefully, dragging his hand down his face. "No one else was supposed to get hurt. I just don't know what to do. I've been able to avoid any Death Eater spies for a week now. But when they finally corner me, I'll only be able to _beg_ for another chance." He sighed and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, wishing that everything could just _go away_.

A tentative hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he peeked an eye at Hermione. She was chewing her lip nervously, staring into the Forbidden Forest.

"Draco, did you really give that cursed necklace to Katie?" she asked in quiet desperation.

Draco buried his head into his knees and answered as loudly as he could manage.

"Yes."

Hermione's hand shook against his shoulder. Draco waited for her response with fierce anticipation.

"Well," she started quietly. "I don't know what you're doing Draco, and I don't know how to help, but I do know this. I _trust_ you. I trust that you're doing this for the right reasons. However, I'm _scared_. What if you _really hurt_ someone next time? How will you be able to forgive yourself?"

She looked just as lost as he felt. Everything was rapidly slipping away from his grasp, and the tighter he held on, the faster it went. "I don't know, Hermione. I have no absolutely no idea. But I can't stop now. It's too late."

The witch gave him a brief pitying look before gazing across the Quidditch field. "Why you, Draco? Why is he making you do this?"

He scoffed with anger. "That's war for you. The Dark Lord at the top, sitting comfortably as he shifts his pawns across the board. With my father in Azkaban, it's no wonder that I've been put in as a replacement."

"And what does your mother think about all this?"

Draco felt his heart sink. "She's the only other one who sees anything wrong with this. I think she might be even more scared than I am. I honestly believe that if my father hadn't dragged her into it, she'd have nothing to do with the Death Eaters."

He stared down at the grass and uprooted a handful angrily. "Why can't I be strong enough to save her, to stop this from happening? _Harry_ could've done it without blinking an eye." Draco added remorsefully as he tossed the grass.

Hermione glanced at him through the corner of her eye. "You're doing everything you can- oh don't _scowl_ at me, it's true. And besides, Harry has absolutely no tact when it comes to things like this. He just throws himself in without looking ahead. You know just as well as I do that sometimes his recklessness gets him hurt." Draco winced as he remembered all the scars Potter had collected over the years.

"Even though it _feels_ like there's nothing you can do at the moment, I know you'll be able to solve it. Give it some time, and the answer will come to you. _That_ is your strength, the way you grit your teeth and patiently wait for the right moment. Please, just promise me that no one else will get hurt."

He sat quietly as he let her words sink in. How was it that this girl, no older than him, always knew what to say? How was it that she could always see the best in people like him, despite all the bad she had seen?

He felt an emptiness burrow in him as he forced his next words out.

"I promise."

* * *

 

_Your father has already disgraced your family name. Know that if you fail, there will be consequences._

Draco lurched up, gasping for breath. He raised a shaky hand to his head, trying to calm the overpoweringly dizzy sensation. It was dark, so dark he couldn't see past his knees. Draco attempted to adjust from his sudden pull into wakefulness, but the whispers spun around his mind, taunting him from his memories.

Slowly, they faded, replaced by soft snoring. Draco looked up at the thick velvet curtains that surrounded his bed, the light from a torch slipping in through a small opening. He shuddered as he wiped cold sweat from his brow and scratched at his forearm anxiously, trying to seize the feeling of something writhing under his skin. Without a single thought, he tore off his white t-shirt and reached for the one tucked underneath his bed.

The sound of sudden movement made him freeze. He panicked before recognizing the noise as one of his housemates turning in their bed, most likely Crabbe. He groaned internally and lowered his hand from where it had been reaching for his wand.

Draco continued to feel around blindly for cloth, and drew the dark fabric up to his face the moment he found it. He inhaled deeply, and was rewarded with the most comforting scent he could imagine. It was the scent of earth and worn leather and a warm summer night. It was the unique scent of the one and only Harry Potter.

Draco felt his facial expression waver and soften without any hope of stopping it. He tugged the Muggle jumper over his head and felt himself calm down, if only a little.

_I need a walk._

He silently made his way out of the dorm and down the hall to the wash room, his feet curling against the cold floor. From a glance out the window, he could guess it to be around five in the morning, which left around two hours or so before anyone else would be up.

Draco left the wash room lights out, instead navigating by pure familiarity as he turned on the tap. The rushing sound of water soothed his nerves, and he splashed cool water onto his face.

Draco thought back to his dream, or was it a nightmare? It was already start to melt away in his conscious state. He could still remember Voldemort's chilling voice, demanding and arrogant. He could also vividly recall his cruel Aunt Bellatrix cackling as she invaded his mind.

 _'Draco, my dear. This is the only way to learn to prepare yourself against the Dark Arts. Trust me, darling, Auntie Bella knows best.'_ Hours of sifting through his thoughts had gone by before the witch was satisfied with his technique.

 _She was right._ he thought miserably. Draco had nearly thrown up with the effort of keeping her away from all his memories with Harry. The incident had made him despise and fear the witch with a quiet intensity.

And now, he was no better than she was.

He sighed as he reached for a towel to dry his face with. Draco knew from experience that he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep tonight. And he didn't think he could bear two hours of listening to Goyle snore. Which left sneaking around the castle as the only reasonable option. Even Filch and his creepy cat would be asleep by now.

Draco slipped back into his dormitory, careful to not let the door squeak, and grabbed his wand, slippers, and a warm cloak.

Roaming through the dark castle brought a certain peace in Draco. There was a thick silence that only occurred in the extreme early hours of the morning. It was also one of the very few times where Draco felt _alone_. There was no one to glare at him or challenge him or expect anything of him. No Death Eaters to watch him and no foolish adults to pity him.

And most importantly, there was no Harry Potter- the boy who lived, the chosen one, the Gryffindor who would sacrifice himself for the ones he loved.

The one whose jumper Draco secretly kept hidden under his bed.

No matter his efforts, Draco couldn't deny the way his focus always ended up on the boy. Anytime Harry- _no,_ _Potter_ \- walked into the room, Draco felt himself simultaneously melt and tense up. It was hard not to go up to the other, to rile him up and demand his attention. Because _dammit_ , Draco missed him. He felt alone and closed off, with no one to turn his heart and thoughts to.

As the weeks turned into months, Draco could feel himself shutting down. It was getting harder to keep up his facade. Half the time he felt a clawing emptiness inside him, as though he'd never _feel_ again. The rest of the time he felt on the verge of breaking, of cracking and giving up and letting his soul _scream_.

His eyes and throat burned as he held back his tears. Crying would do nothing to save him now, that delusion had been discarded about three months ago, along with the final shred of hope that he'd be able to fight against Lord Voldemort with Har- _stop bloody calling him that_ \- Potter.

Draco let his feet carry him forwards as his thoughts raged war on each other. It took quite some time before he even realized that he had climbed half a staircase. He paused hesitantly, looking for a clue as to where he was, before he nearly smacked himself for his unconscious decision to come _here_.

The Astronomy Tower. Where the fuck _else_ would he be?

He hadn't come here since last year, too angry or scared or _something_ to face it. And now he found himself just around the corner from the entrance into the grand and cavernous room he knew so well.

He deeply considered going back down to the dungeons before berating himself for being ridiculous. It was just a _room_ , for Merlin's sake. Just a room where he and his boyfriend- _exboyfriend_ \- had met up nearly every other day to smile and kiss and bare their hearts open.

Yeah, just a room.

Draco rolled his eyes as he slowly crept forwards and unlocked the door with his wand.

Cool wind hit his face as he entered, and he was instantly swept up into the view from the tower. Blotchy clouds marked the early dawn with hues of rose and violet. Draco watched as the first inkling of light came through the trees of the Forbidden Forest and sent a hawk rushing into the sky. It was officially a new day.

In the back of his mind, Draco was taunted by the thought that there was one day less to serve the Dark Lord. One day less before he had to murder someone wise and kind and caring. He had already failed once. He couldn't afford to do it again.

He pushed the thought down in favor of watching the sun rise, letting his mind go blank as he sat on the balcony of the tallest tower.


	11. Shadow

"But Draco, it's Hallowe'en!" Pansy yelled exasperatedly.

"Oh, is it?" he replied, absentmindedly flipping through his potions textbook.

She grumbled in annoyance and crossed her arms. "The _old_ Draco used to love Hallowe'en, even more than Yule. Now look at you."

Draco resisted the urge to flinch, the way he had been taught to do since he was young. If Pansy had begun to see a change in him, it meant that his facade hadn't been as sharp as he thought. He was simply too tired and distracted.

He sighed as he turned his attention to his childhood friend. "Oh please, I've just grown up since then."

"So much that you don't want to go down to the feast with me?"

Draco snapped the book shut irritably and leaned back into the black leather couch. The common room was lively with students idling away the time before dinner. Upperclassmen were studying at the large mahogany table while younger students stood gathered around a chess set.

"Pansy, do you still remember when we first met?"

"What's this all about?" she asked with a smirk. "Feeling nostalgic, Draco?"

He closed his eyes with a wry smile of his own. "Yes, I suppose so. Do you remember?"

"Hah, how could I forget? You strutting around like a spoiled-"

"Thank you Pansy." he interrupted with a roll of his eyes.

She merely giggled in response. "It's true, you and I both know it. Besides, you've really changed over the past two years. Sometimes, it's almost as if you're a different person."

Draco pushed down a bittersweet smile at the truth in her words. _I dare say I have Potter to thank for that._

"You, on the other hand Pansy, were just about the shyest eight year old I had ever met. Believe that! Now I'm at the mercy of your every whim."

The witch split with more giggles as she was swept up in memories. "We used to run around the garden playing Aurors and Dark Wizards."

"How ironic." Draco muttered and closed his eyes again.

"Please, Draco. Come to the feast with me. It'll be fun!"

"No, I can't be bothered."

"Draco, you've been disappearing during meals- _yes you have,_ don't even _try_ to deny it."

"Wha- I didn't even _say_ anything." he replied indignantly.

"Yeah, well that's one of the _few_ perks of knowing you for so long. You didn't have to say it." Pansy replied with a teasing smirk.

"Ugh, you also know that I've been busy. Studying doesn't do itself, you actually have to put time and effort into it. Something I _doubt_ you'd understand."

"Oh you're awful to me! Leave a poor girl alone." she exclaimed, dramatically throwing her arm over her eyes. Draco rolled his eyes again, a grudging smile forming on his lips. Pansy caught the expression as she peeked under her arm. "So... you're coming to the feast, right?"

Draco went silent, considering his options. It was true, he'd been forgoing more and more meals in the Great Hall. It was becoming harder to find the will to drag himself up from the dungeon. The moment time he set foot into the large room, he found himself itching to leave.

There was Snape glaring at him from the staff table, a daily reminder that at some point he'd have to face the professor. There was Hermione, trying to catch his eye from over his shoulder. There was the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team, still somber over the absence of their friend. There was Dumbledore, with his ridiculous speeches and oblivious smile. And then there was Potter, who had taken to glaring at Draco with the utmost contempt.

The guilt inside him had rapidly taken over, and the thought of eating had begun to make him feel sick. Over breakfast, he'd nibble at a few pieces of toast and bacon. At dinner he'd try to swallow down as much as he could to make up for the lack of lunch. But tonight, he just couldn't muster up the nerve to sit and pretend everything was alright.

Besides, there was another _more pressing_ matter to attend to.

"No, Pansy. I'm not going." he replied quietly.

She took a moment to look at him, and for a brief moment he wondered if she had picked up legilimancy. The ridiculous notion passed, as did her watchful eye. Pansy stood up with a huff.

"Alright Draco, I know well enough that you're too stubborn for your own good. Still, I'll sneak down a pumpkin tart for you." she declared before sticking her tongue out at him and walking off.

A helpless chuckle bubbled through him as he watched the common room empty. He knew he was holding Pansy at a distance, and the rational part of him knew he needed to stop. But he felt as though she was so far behind- about the Death Eaters and Dumbledore and _Potter_ \- that there really wasn't any point.

Draco rubbed his eyes in frustration and stood up. _Enough about that, you have work to do._

On his night stand, a stack of books sat in a dusty pile. Each and every one had bits of papers sticking out in a chaotic mess. Margins had been filled with notes about the practicality of the spells within. Draco took the stack and left the dungeon.

The passage that lead to the Great Hall was bustling with students making their way to the feast. They chattered excitedly as they walked further and further away. Draco peered down the empty passage before turning around and making his way up the nearest stairwell.

The Grand Staircase, while a much quicker way to get the the seventh floor, was a wide open space. Anyone running late from the Gryffindor or Ravenclaw towers would definitely see him, and he really wasn't in the mood to answer questions at the moment. So hidden passages it was.

Trudging up staircase after staircase, long past the point where his legs began to hiss in protest, Draco finally pulled himself up to the Room of Requirement. He gazed at the large, unassuming wall with a scoff, and pictured the stack of books in his mind.

"I need somewhere to hide this." he muttered quietly. "I need to hide it now, before someone sees me. I need to hide it."

Draco could feel the magic of the room swimming between the stone blocks of the wall. Just in front of him, a section of the wall pressed back to form a small archway. It looked like any other entrance in the castle, like it had been there for centuries. A wrought iron door ebbed into the arch, and gave a loud creak as it opened for Draco.

He stepped inside, and was blown away once again by the sheer magnificence of the room. In every direction, there were piles and piles of objects, towering to the vaulted ceiling. Large panes of glass shimmered with murky images, broken chairs hobbled around aimlessly, exam cheating devices whirled and flashed with bright colors. There was a sense of restlessness, as though all the objects, even the room itself, wanted to be found again.

In the middle of the vast chamber, past twists and turns seemingly designed to confuse, Draco came upon the cabinet. He crept up to its looming form, dustier since the last time he had been there. He watched it cautiously for a second more, before turning a glare at it and dropping his books to the floor with an echoing thud.

It had been quite an impressive stroke of luck to come upon the two cabinets. He remembered that oaf of a Slytherin Montague bursting into the common room, yelling about the Weasley twins and having to apparate out of some dark closet he had been shoved into. Draco had then been able to piece it together over many trips to Borgin and Burkes.

Quite honestly, though, Draco didn't even know what he'd do with it if he got the two cabinets fixed. But his best plan yet had turned into a mess, and he didn't think Snape would be too opposed to him working on his last resort a little early.

So he pulled up the nearest seat and sat down with a huff. With _Advanced Charms: Magicked Objects and Dark Artefacts_ in hand, he set to casting his first spell of the night.

* * *

"Urg..." Draco groaned as he left the Room of Requirement, rubbing his eyes in tired frustration. He stretched to the side, and felt his joints crack.

The hours spent on the cabinet had once again been in vain. Any spell even remotely concerned with repair was either deflected by some unseen barrier or simply absorbed into nothingness. It was vexing, to say the least. Draco had been very tempted to try beating the cabinet into submission, but one experimental kick had left the cabinet creaking angrily. And with that, Draco had decided he was done for the night. He supposed he'd return to the library during breakfast and find some more books. But for now, his bed called him.

He slipped down the dark hall quietly. The torches were still brightly lit, meaning he had time before curfew. He had nearly gotten to the first staircase when he was startled by the sound of footsteps.

"Mr. Malfoy." a drawling voice called out. Draco felt a shiver race down his back in momentary fear. He watched as a cloaked figure stepped out from a nearby alcove. Under the light of the torches, he could see it was Professor Snape, looking as displeased as ever. Draco felt caution rise in him as the professor strode towards him.

"Sir?"

"What are you doing here, out so late and so very far away from your common room?" Snape asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You wouldn't be here, attempting to repair anything, would you?"

Draco's limbs went cold. "Yes, Professor. But-"

Snape stepped forwards again tower over him, anger in his eyes. "Don't play with me, Malfoy. You've been avoiding me, I know. Ever since your little _slip up_ . And now, I find you here. _Clearly_ doing what I told you _not_ to."

"But sir, I thought-"

"You obviously thought wrong. Do _not_ do things behind my back. I have put my _life_ on the line to promise your mother I'd protect you-"

"I never asked you to!" he burst out angrily and without much forethought. As quickly as the words had come, however, Draco felt horror settle in him.

"Now, listen here. Your actions as of late have brought a lot of attention. The Headmaster took exceptional notice of the cursing of a student under his watch." He took yet another step forward, so close that Draco felt trapped under the man's cold fury.

"If it wasn't for me," Snape continued in an alarmingly calm way. "The Headmaster would have it all figured out, and you'd be _rotting_ away in Azkaban, right along with your father. So, I suggest that it'd be in your best interest to _do as I say_. Is that clear?"

Draco nodded shakily.

"I said, is that _clear_?"

"Yes. Yes, Professor Snape."

The Dark Arts teacher glared down at him for a moment more before taking off in the other direction with a sweep of his robes. Heart still pounding, Draco dashed down the stairs. He felt the gravity of the situation finally upon him, felt the first of the consequences brought by his mistake.

Why couldn't the bar keeper have given the necklace to someone else? Why couldn't Katie Bell have just kept the necklace in the box? Why couldn't Voldemort have picked someone else? This would have all been done with if they had just-

He was down in the dungeons in a matter of minutes, out of breath and so tired that he wanted to just sleep until this was all over.

The common room was mostly empty, besides a group of students who were still up playing board games and drinking butter beer. A few of them gave Draco strange looks, but he ignored them.

Sitting on the center table, wrapped in a cloth napkin, was a pumpkin tart. It looked as delectable as ever, the house elves had really outdone themselves. But the thought of eating it made Draco's stomach roil.

" _Evanesco_." he said with a sweep of his wand, clearing away all traces of the tart.

He'd have to thank Pansy later.


End file.
